It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
At the end of the spring semester, we did the class of 2011 jersey orders on GoogleDocs where everyone who wanted one put their name and their size onto the document. I kept changing the fat girl's size to XL because she put her size as M. Well, I ordered a M as well, and when I got it, I realized I did her a service because there was no way in hell she could fit into a medium jersey. You're welcome.
Jay L. from Duke
I deleted all the songs on my roomate's iPod and replaced them all with Rebecca Black's Friday. Just cuz.
My two roommates decided to be jerks one day while I was in the shower. When I stepped out of the bathroom I was barely able to notice the vaseline on the tile floor in time. I stepped over it and steadied myself on the counter and noticed that they had put vaseline on that too so if I slipped and fell I wouldn't be able to catch myself. I heard them giggling in their room so I went back into the bathroom and decided that I needed to rescrub my buttcrack and a washcloth just wouldn't do. So I used their toothbrushes. After removing any trace hairs from the bristles I put them back. That was 9 years ago. The funny part is that these two guys are gonna be groomsmen in my wedding in two months.
Andy C. from DASOTA
I stole over $1000 from my roommates drug dealer boyfriend, and our third roommate was blamed. They never even suspected me. Didn't feel bad about it because the guy who got blamed dated my ex-girlfriend, had her move into our house, dropped out of school and spent all day cooking and having sex, all while not paying rent. Justice.
My roommate had a little trouble with stealing and grand larceny from work and his probation stated that he couldn't drink or do drugs. After he lost his next job, he would have a party every night, and even got a warning from the police for the noise. Around finals time, he refused to go out to a bar or another party, turn down the music, and not invite everyone in the world over. I was too tired to argue with him, so I called a noise complaint. He got fined and the citation noted that he was intoxicated. Two days later, his probation officer and a cop came over and he got arrested for breaking the terms of his probation. He also failed the drug test and got 3 Months. Then my landlord felt bad for me, and didn't make me cover his half of the rent. 2 Bedroom apartment was mine for the summer.
Anonymous from UAlbany
At first, I tried to get along with my roommate. I would ignore the fact that she talked on the phone with her boyfriend on the phone for 2-4 hours every night, she was crazy OCD and her mood swings could give people whiplash. During finals week, I was always out studying or working but I kept getting calls from her to come back and clean the room. The only things I had "out of place" were the clean clothes on my bed. I had enough of her nagging so I replaced her expensive face creams and washes with dollar store soap and lotion, put heavy cream in her soymilk (lactose intolerant) and made "moth holes" in all her silk, cashmere and wool clothes. She ended up moving out five days early. I ended up putting the beds together to make an awesome trampoline bed :] Basically, don't mess.
My roommate is my best friend. But a HUGE hypocrite. He loves to tell girls how healthy he eats, and that he doesn't eat pork, or beef. Doesn't use butter. Takes all these vitamins, and works out regularly. And basically just how healthy he is. Also he Never buys food except for khashi pizza. And he will buy one and eat the whole thing. If he happens to bring leftovers home, he asks me not to eat them. I grocery shop all the time because i cook all the time. And he eats EVERYTHING I BUY. He will go down in the middle of the night and binge and eat all my leftovers. Doesn't matter what kind of meat is in it, or how much butter i used, he eats it ALL. And he eats everything else i put in the pantry or fridge. Chips, Cookies. Shit, even a can of spaghetti o's i had in there for when i watch my niece, as she will sometimes want them. And i got fed up with it. So i purchased a mini fridge which i keep in my bedroom. When i cook i take half the leftovers and put them in My mini fridge. And for the past month all the leftovers in the kitchen i have been adding weight gainer powder to. And not a small amount. I purchased the flavorless powder and i mix it into everything. I will even buy things at the grocery store now that i dont want to eat, but i know he will scarf when no one is around. So i add weight gainer to that and leave it in the fridge. So far he has gained 15-20lbs. And it is all in his gut. And he wont admit to eating all the food i buy all the time. He says one of our friends was over and must have ate it. Not so much buddy. Keep eating everything and not chipping in on the grocery's, and i will keep assisting you gain weight. Its now summer and he NEVER takes off his shirt when we go to the lake or beach because he is embarrassed of his gut. The girl whom he started hooking up with says he has sex with a t-shirt on. Revenge is SWEET.
One day I walked into my apartment and found my roommate wearing my pants that I hung up in the bathroom. He wore it for 2 days straight. I didn't say anything. Why? 'Cause the day before I got more messed up than I've ever been in my entire life and on my way home I couldn't hold in my poop (ate 4 crunchwrap supreme from Taco Bell). And yes, I did number 2 in my pants. That's why it was in the bathroom and I was planning to get rid of it before you decided to wear it. So no, it wasn't just you that was smelling shit and no you didn't step in dog poop. You wore my pants that was covered in shit.
R F from SUNY Cortland
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