"I'd like to make a toast" – Toast
  1. Toast two pieces of toast and carve out a glass and a knife.
  2. Bring them to a dinner party in an inner pocket
  3. Use your REAL knife and glass to get everyone's attention.
  4. Stand up and pull out your toast knife and toast glass while you say "I'd like to make a TOAST!". # Emphasize the word toast.
  5. Receive laughs
  6. Explain to those that aren't laughing that it is a popular European dinner party joke
  7. Go to toilet later and eat toast glass and toast knife as a snack

Toasted untoasted toast.
  1. Toast two pieces of toast and put an untoasted piece of toast between them.
  2. Bring it to work/school/retirement home
  3. Convince whoever is eating lunch that it is actually a very famous European dish
  4. Trade it with their lunch
  5. Eat amazing lunch while you watch the resentment grow in the eyes of your colleague/classmate/grandparent

Toast Canapé on a cocktail stick
  1. Invite all your friends to a lavish dinner party
  2. Make "fun" arrangement that everyone brings one item of food for dinner
  3. Appoint yourself to make the entrées
  4. Toast two pieces of toast and cut them into little pieces. Then put a cocktail stick on each piece.
  5. Serve the entrees to your friends
  6. Explain how you're not going to eat any yourself because you want to save room to taste what everyone else made
  7. Insist no matter what that it is a famous European entrée dish
  8. Eat lavish dinner that your friends made while you watch the hate grow in their eyes

Half a bag of toast in the garbage
  1. Realize that all your friends have abandoned you.
  2. Discover half a bag of moldy old toast in the garbage
  3. Have a 10 minute ethical debate with yourself on whether you're hungry enough to pick the bag out of the garbage again.
  4. Come to the conclusion that of course you are, and search the bag for the two pieces of toast with the least amount of mold on them.
  5. When you eat the moldy toast convince yourself that it's a famous European dessert