Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
105%: Issue One Hundred and Fifty Five
June 30, 2011
I don't want to sound homophobic, but I don't think gay male grizzly bear couples should be allowed to raise kids. They usually eat them.
I'm an anthropologist. Every time my girlfriend gets mad at me, I buy her something from Anthropology.
I recently fell into some money. Unfortunately it was only 5 bucks, so I broke my nose.
I'm starting to feel kind of guilty for flushing the Indian in my cupboard down the toilet. Sorry, I mean Native American.
I'm going to start calling my testicles "horses." That way when anyone says "Hold your horses" I'll have something fun to do.
Technically speaking, until someone starts paying you to be a member of the working class, you're just an amateurletarian.
Early stage pyramid schemes are known as "ziggurat schemes."
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