It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
So I had this roommate who was the biggest druggie on the planet. She never showered and always had her druggie friends over who would eat all our food and steal our stuff. It finally came to a head when we got evicted on account of all the idiots coming from our place. So on the last night I took my weights and bashed in all the walls down to wood, busted holes in the ceiling with a broomstick and carved obscenities into the remaining drywall (my name wasn't on the lease). The next day she confronted us at our new place with the police in tow and tried to say we messed up the place, we told em we weren't there. The cops took one look at us, took one look at the meth bumps on her face and then charged her with the damages. Take that as a lesson kids, if you do drugs, no one will ever fucking believe you!!
I once lived with this guy who'd take every drug under the sun and was always seen smashed out of his head. So then I would get so pissed off at him coming in stinking like shit as high as a kite so me and a couple friends dressed up as garden gnomes and leprachauns, heck we even got someone dressed as a multicoloured cow outside, then when he was home we burst in on him and started throwing potatoes and beating the shit out of him. He ran out and we took the time to clean up and hide the costumes at my sisters house then went out for a drink. Turns out he went to the police saying he 'got attacked by the gnomes'. They gave him a drugs test and he got sent to rehab. Good times.
I used to live with a load of stoners and, not being one myself, I used to get bored. For a laugh, while my housemate was away, I put washing liquid in his bong. I completely forgot about it until he stormed in my room 2 days later and glared me down. Apparently he didn't notice until after he'd started using it and ended up with bubbles on his face :-)
My roommate freshman year was a pig. He never cleaned his room, he always smelled like cigarettes and BO, and he always left the kitchen area a mess after making something. Yet if I even left a dirty sock on the floor he got on my case (I guess he appointed himself in charge of messes). Second semester, I got my chance for revenge. To start, he was a virgin (no surprise) and desperate to get laid. We both went to a party one night, and he walks past me with the fattest, skankiest girl in the room (she even smelled worse than him). As he walks by, he tells me "find another place to sleep tonight." Instead, I told my friends, we partied for another 20 minutes, and the four of us headed back to my place. We open the door to find my room mate in the living room (because his room was a mess) getting head from this skank girl. They both look up at us in surprise. Me and my friends walk towards them and I look the girl in the eye and say, "I see you got started without us." I then take off my belt, crack it in the air like a whip, and me and my friends start taking off our clothes. Immediately, this girl freaks out, grabs her clothes, and bolts out the door. My room mate was so pissed that we ruined his chances to get laid that he moved out two weeks later. If you're reading this, dear smelly roomie, you should be thanking me for preventing you from getting some weird disease.
This is not from me, but something that some of my dad's friends did when they where in college, at the University di Pavia, in Italy, majoring in engineering. One of their friends was extremely proud of his car, and did nothing but talking about it. He came back home for the weekend by train, leaving his car parked in front of his apartment. When he came back, the car was nowhere to be found. He gave up looking for it, and when he opened the door of his apartment on the second floor, he found the car. During the weekend, they had disassembled and assembled back the car. He had to do the same again by himself.
Carlo GS from Italy
So I live in a dorm where we have very thin walls, and the guy who lives in the room next to me really enjoys inviting his girlfriend over to have REALLY LOUD sex really late at night. Now I did many things to try to get them to stop, I even scream through the walls (and since it's so thin, they can hear me in perfect clarity) "HEY. STOP HAVING SEX. I'M TRYING TO SLEEP", but they just yell back "sorry!", stop for five minutes, and start going at it again, except this time they think they're being quiet. I assure you they are not. So, taking inspiration from college humor's "creepy-aggressive notes" article, whenever I hear them banging, I would scream things like "YES! HARDER! DRILL HER" and I would also google erotic literature and read it to them (making sure its really gross literature with kinky bondage crap in it). They stopped having sex in that room entirely.
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