Stuffed Quahog Eating Contest

What: Contestants must eat as many stuffed quahogs — AKA stuffed clams — as possible in 90 seconds.

Where: Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Winnings: gift certificate, t-shirt, picture on the wall

Why, God? Why?: Clams look disgusting. They stink. And they have the consistency of chewing your own tongue. While a 90-second contest isn't long, most people need more time than that to even get up the courage to try to eat what is essentially a sandy, rubber vagina.