6. Hot Dogs (Fester's Quest)

There were some pretty half-assed power ups in the NES Fester's Quest. The power up for your gun was a block of text that said "GUN." The power up for your whip was a block of text that said "WHIP." I'm guessing the designers were too preoccupied gambling on how many boomerangs they could plug into the ever-multiplying slime creatures before they finally died. Answer: Way too many.

I digress.

However lame the weapon power ups were, even more bizarre was Fester's insatiable appetite for hot dogs. This is the only option in the game to replenish your health. Why hot dogs? I'd bet my right hand (sorry Thing) that this was never a characteristic of his in any of the Addams Family iterations. Who am I to judge? If processed meats help you defend our home planet from hostile aliens then go nuts, my bald friend.

5. Soft Serve Ice Cream (Duck Tales)

I can appreciate that after a long day of pogo sticking the sh*t out of baddies, you want to sit back, kick off your spats and enjoy a delicious cold treat. So why shouldn't creamed ice give Scrooge McDuck that extra boost he needs to hit boulders with a golf swing?

While there's a certain suspension of disbelief you have to give to video games, I always found it hard to believe that Mrs. Beakley was able to store perfectly formed, un-melted, soft serve cones deep in a humid African mine. Unless she's hiding a mini freezer in her giant bosom. And everyone knows that the only one in Duckburg with the capabilities of carrying around that much advanced technology is Gizmo.

Sorry Mrs. Beakley, I'm not buying it. To the absurdity of that power up I say, "blathering blatherskite!"