Have a lousy job? Friends, family, and coworkers alike tired of listening to you complain? Well, send your stories here and lift some of the burden off of your already crushed soul. No drug test required.
My first job was at a pet store. A woman came in telling me that her dog was having stomach issues, and that her vet told her to feed it chicken and rice.
She then explained to me that she just couldn't afford to buy him Chinese food every night. I laughed until I realized she was serious.
I work in a hole-in-the-wall bar. One day, a guy walks in and orders a beer. As I hand him the beer, he gets an indescribable look on his face, and walks to the back room to play pool. I didn't think anything of it, really, but a few minutes later I began to notice a horrible smell in the bar. Evidently the guy had shit his pants when he'd walked up to the bar and, rather than clean himself up or leave immediately, he got the beer and played an entire game of pool, leaving streaks of shit in front of the bar and around the entire pool table.
I had just begun college, and my first job out of High school. I swore I would never take a mac job, so I was working at a funeral home. I know most people think it's gross, but it was pretty clean. The schedule was a plus with my full college load, working on call, mostly at 2 in the morning, along with 8 hours Friday, and Saturday. On one of these Saturdays, during the summertime, I was in my transport van with someone on the back stretcher, the A.C. was not working, and I was wearing a black suit, then I got caught in traffic. So I was sitting in traffic beginning to cook, and moving at a slow 20 mphs. Then when I was wiping the sweat from my brow, I looked in the review mirror, and I saw the body, begin to sit up strait, and begin to make a gurgling sound. With that I was insanely freaked out, pulling off to the side of the road, getting out, taking my suit jacket off quickly, then saying shit and fuck about as many times as I could. I went to the rear doors of the van, seeing one body sitting up at a 90 degree angle, at that point being very creepy, I asked a simple "Hello" just thinking there's a chance it might still be alive. No answer, after calming down a bit, and realizing it was just the heat that can cause muscle contractions, I began to tighten the straps on the stretcher, it was like bending a led pipe, but after a few minutes of tightening the straps on the stretcher, I was finally able to make it secure again, and the traffic was lightening up again. I was able to quickly drive back to the funeral home, and from that everything was fine. But for a second it could have been the zombie Apocalypse.
I work in management at a well-known retail store. I'm not going to lie, my new boss has got to be the dumbest person I've met in my life. Today she was making a poster for a coworker who won a contest, and wrote on it "Congradulations!" Afterward, she asked me to show her how to use a box cutter.
I am a receptionist for a law firm. Because we aren't the only office on this floor, I often have to deal with a lot of crazy people with strange questions law related and not. Once I noticed an older man, probably early 60's, staring at another suite's door for a long period of time. Finally, he came into our office and said, "That door over there doesn't have handles. Is there another way to get in?" I thought he was messing with me and told him you just have to push. He responded with, "Oh ok. Thank you." Straight face and all.
When I was 15 I worked at Old Navy as a summer job, and I was mostly found manning the dressing rooms in the back. One day I had a 20-something couple come in. The girl went to try on a huge array of clothes and the guy sat on a bench waiting for her to model. She looked normal enough but he looked like a hipster, emo, death metal tree hugger. I cannot describe him in any other way. He started asking me why I worked at a store that exploited children in 3rd world countries, was making our country broke, and was stealing money from teenagers, and then proceeded to was ask me how I could stand to live with myself. He also told me one day Karma would get me back and that I should reconsider my life. Yet, his Girlfriend was buying clothes from the store that did all these heinous things.
I got a new job in a Pizzeria in the city. All of the customers are generally nice but one day i get a complaint about the bathroom being held up for an hour. I knocked and called and finally figured that no one was in there so i used the employee keys to open the door. There was a knocked out 10 year old that slipped on his own pee and smashed his head against the toilet.