I stayed with my high school girlfriend for two years waiting for her to come to the same college. After she finally comes to the school she breaks up with me within the first month.
So my ex used to have a habit of biting her nails. One time during a pretty intense make-out session I started to choke on one of her prechewed fingernails
. make-out session over
My boyfriend's pet name for me is Zergling.
I read Dating, It's Complicated: Issue #111 and told my girlfriend about it and now she refers to her period as "shark week" on a regular basis.
I was skyping with my girlfriend when she stopped mid-sentence and told me there was a bug on the ceiling. She left, came back 2 minutes later and said "I think its a lady bug, what do I do..?"
I'm pretty sure if my boyfriend had to choose between hugging me goodbye or poking my boobs goodbye, he would choose the latter.
Sometimes after a long sex session while laying next to each other, I will ask my boyfriend to pulsate his penis and say 'giggity' like Quagmire from family guy. It makes me laugh and its slightly arousing.
My girlfriend wants to break up with me because I hung out with her ex who is my best friend. Let me also mention that she's had sex with two of my friends and sees no problem with that.
I had to explain to my ex why spooning was called spooning using actual spoons.
Sometimes when my wife is asleep, and I'm still awake I lean over her and in her ear whisper, "Do you still hear them Clarice? The Lambs?"
My girlfriend thinks that I don't watch porn.
Before we have sex, my boyfriend has to put my toy rabbit who usually sits on my bed on the ground facing away from us so that he doesn't watch us.