While snoozing naked in this guy I'm seeing's bed, he likes to squeeze my butt checks while quoting Bart Simpson. "Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds, and, uh, I'm a little behind."
I don't consider any sex I have with my girlfriend official unless it involves me raspberrying her boobs.
The guy I am secretly in love with told me that I was "good breeding stock." I don't know how to take that.
My left boob is a bit smaller then my right one so my boyfriend decided to name them Serena and Venus
I recently introduced my girlfriend to CollegeHumor's 'Dating it's Complicated' and now she's convinced that I have submitted something about our relationship. It's there somewhere babe, good luck with the 100+ pages.
After having sex with my boyfriend he patted my vagina and said, "You're my boy, blue." I responded by patting his crouch and saying, "Stay gold, Ponyboy." Its now become a regular thing.
When my boyfriend and I are 69ing, the person who makes the other one orgasm first yells "Winner!"
My husband asked today if I was pregnant because I had not suffered bitchy mood swing behavior in three months.
Recently my girlfriend has begun to thank my penis after sex. Today she thanked it and gave it a hand shake.
My girlfriend gets mad at me when I kill dragons in Skyrim because she thinks I'm being "antagonistic and unfair" to the dragons. Given a choice, she said she'd rather a dragon kill me than the other way around
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