Can you crack this secret code? THA SACRAT OF THA CODA IS JUST TO SWITCH ELL OF THA E's END A's

A bad way to propose
"Baby, you make me feel like I'm on heroin."
-Tom Sunnergren
Dakota Fanning Edits Her Own Wikipedia
Dakota Fanning is the smartest, prettiest girl in the world, much prettier than the Little Miss Sunshine pig. She was supposed to win an Oscar for Charolette's Web, but was cheated out of it by greedy jews. She is currently eating strawberry ice cream. [citation needed]
-Jeff Rubin
Is there anything better than Ultimate Frisbee? By definition, no.
-Jesse Gold
Important Life Moments via Text Message
im prgnt
-Streeter Seidell
Life's Great Mysteries
Why don't eggs taste like chicken?
-Smitty
I want to drive an old 1960s style Volkswagen. Not because I love the car or anything, but because I would know that every time I drive by a school bus, someone is getting punched.
-Brillo Peterson
Certain words sound much more amazing then they actually are. Like Supervision. Or Food Pyramid.
-Amir B.
A prostitute is like a box of chocolates—the dark ones are the most delicious, but may contain nuts.
-Chris Richman
Send your 105% submissions to 105percent @ gmail dot com