I: Italy, 1474 AD
Me: Wow, Leonardo Da Vinci!
Leonardo Da Vinci: Yes, it is I.
Me: You rule! I come from the future, and in my time, you are known as a majestic artist!
Leonardo Da Vinci: Amazing! Tell me, what's my greatest accomplishment?
Leonardo Da Vinci: Are you serious, kid?
Me: The statue. The naked one.
Leonardo Da Vinci: Yeah, that narrows it down. Prick.
Me: I liked you better as a ninja-turtle.
II Boston, 2034
Me: What what happened to you?
Older Me: Lupus.
Older Me: No.
III: England, 1200 AD
Me: Peasants! I come from the future!
Me: Oh. It's hey, are you guys good with abstract notions of time?
Peasant: Do you have bread?
Peasant: I am so hungry.
IV: Washington D.C, 1971
Me: End the war in Vietnam!
Me: No, see you don't understand: I am uniquely special and all-knowing because I came here on a magic journey from the future where the president is Black.
Guy: You're high.
V: Detroit, 1908
Me: I am from the future! And I am here to share all my knowledge of the marvelous horseless carriage!
Ford: That's amazing! Like what?
Me: They they go really fast! Man, cars in the future are great.
Ford: Listen: even just the most basic explanation would be helpful. Like, anything about the pistons, gears, engines you could tell me would be great.
Me: They they run on gasoline.
Ford: Okay. How? What kind of gasoline? How is it made?
Me: The the normal way.
Me: Hey, good luck with cars.
Ford: So you just came here to taunt me, future-man?
Me: Whelp, gotta go.
Ford: Freakin' Jews