With graduation just behind us, I thought I'd look into the future at the various lives you'll be leading this fall. I've had that ability ever since a bizarre farming accident left me with psychic powers and a terrible show on USA. The following are e-mails you'll be sending to each other this October; when that time comes, feel free to just cut and paste.

Hey all,
I'm really enjoying my trip through Europe. I just wasn't ready to face the world, even though facing the world really just entails a cushy job at my dad's firm. I felt I needed to explore myself and have sex with prostitutes in Amsterdam. This was the best money I have ever made my parents spend. Aurevoir! (that's French for "I'm a spoiled duechebag!")

Meegan!- I never thought 9to5ing would be so much fun! Especially since I'm really just 10to3ing, in a PR firm that never has enough work for me to do! I'm not on my lunch break either – all I do is check my e-mail and read CNN so I can pretend I'm cultured when I'm talking to my boss the morning after he sleeps with me! I love being a mature adult!

T-Rock— Life in my parents' basement has been awesome. I keep telling them the job market is awful, but I really just enjoy sleeping on their old couch. I told them that if I didn't find a job in the next year, I'd start paying them rent. How funny is that? Like I'm going to have any money if I can't find a job. What morons. Want a beer? Wait, Judge Joe Brown. Gotta go.

Dear Liz,
Hi! How is life? Mine is wonderfully boring. I wish I had something to do other than take care of my husband's kids! I say that they're his kids because he decides everything. I'm so glad I got married before I experienced my own life and formed a perosnality. I hope you're enjoying your freedom and being a positive force in society while I am an empty shell of a person. Cooper, Taylor and Brittany say hi!

Life in finance is hard. I make $100,000 a year but only have 5 hours a day when I'm not at work. I slept under my desk last night. Shoot me in the face.

While I was in college, I wrote for collegehumor.com. Everyone read my work and loved it. Now that I graduated, I pass my time by writing about college even though I'm not in it anymore. My friends say I need to move on. I notice you've done such a good job of that. How can I duplicate your moving-on-ness, which you've so obviously done, now that you're out of college and have moved on?