The story you are about to read is based on truth, but if it was just straight truth that'd be boring.
I am constantly being asked questions about what it's like to work for CollegeHumor.com.
"How many t-shirts does Jake own?"
"Is Ricky John Mayer's brother?"
"Is Josh really in Menudo?"
That's a resounding no. Ricky just looks like John Mayer, but they're not related.
Really, working for CollegeHumor.com is awesome. And Josh isn't in Menudo. Anymore.
Anyway, I'd like to answer all these questions and more and tell people about the dudes behind this 4000 sq foot warehouse of flash games, drunk pictures, porn, and the occasional humor column.
Rick, Josh, Jake, and Zach are the men behind everything, which you already know if you are smart enough to ever click on the "about us" button. I get to be listed near the top dogs, too because I've been around longer than most. Also, because I know some people that break kneecaps. Figure skaters, mostly.
I'm what's known as the "head writer" but my business cards say "guy who crushes dreams of kids who think they can write, too." One day, I hope that will read "Dr. guy who crushes dreams of kids who think they can write, too. Esquire."
Rick and Josh are high school friends, who met Jake while he was interning at NASA, outfitting the new rocketships to receive the Spice channel. Rick then met Zach while they were undergrads at Demon Deacon School for the North Carolinically Challenged. By day, they are four kids in their early 20s. By night, an elite team of safe-crackers, each with a last name easily turned into a noun. And they have a cool website.
The four currently reside in San Diego, except for Zach because he's only eight years old and thus still in school. If you've ever flown over San Diego, you have seen the massive Collegehumor.com office building. You can easily spot it because it's the only one in the skyline I just made up.
This summer, CollegeHumor dudes are living in New York, while I go start a satellite office in Los Angeles. I know, I'm moving from New York and they're moving to New York. It's very Gift of the Magi. Later on in the summer, I plan to sell my hair to buy nice chains for their pocket watches.
Another one of the big dogs is Justin, known best for his potato-shaped tattoo, and worst for his tattoo-shaped potato. And Mike, who makes cartoons and movies and coffee. Also there is Russ, who handles security. Network security let's face it, he's way too scrawny to handle real security.
A lot of us end up telecommuting because we're sprinkled throughout the country, but sometimes we have staff meetings where everyone flies in from all over the country and plays a massive game of pong. Then we mullet hunt and take pictures of those Virginia Tech girls and write on our drunk friends and blah blah blah reminisce blah.
I am not the site's only writer. There are like 40 people who do the updates, but none more named Amir than Amir Blumenfeld or named Adam than Adam Jacobi. Some of us are comedians, too I myself have performed with Matt and Dean and Mindy. Also, we did standup. (Get it? Get it?)
Anyway, the whole reason I'm writing this update is because you might get to work for collegehumor.com, too. We're hiring three interns this summer, and though the internship is unpaid, you get to be on my team for the annual collegehumor.com pong fest. We've already got two hired, so if you want to be the third, here's what you do:
E-mail us with a letter written in broken English, with poor grammar and alternating capital letters. Then tell us why we ROCKKKK!!!!1111 and that you've loved the site ever since you learned you were 14 and learned to read. OR IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT THE JOB, send a real cover letter and resume to steve AT observationalhumor.com.
You might say, "Steve, you left out a bunch of staff members." Well I'd say, "that's true. But where do you get off talking back? You're not the boss of me! You're not the boss!" And then I'd punch you in your left eye. WITH MY MIND! (Props to comic genius Ben Morrison for that line).
Now excuse me while I get back to work. Mmmmm . . . dream crushing . . . gaaaaahhhhhhh.
1. There's a new issue of Ruminations called "Twenty-Five" and there's also a new issue of Observational Humor out called "Snaking Your Engine"
2. Oh, and if you're a Maxim magazine reader, be sure to check out this month's Gear section for a profile they did of our Big Shocker. And also be sure to check out our sponsor, MagazinesForCheap.com, where you can get a year of Maxim and Stuff for $10. Yep, forreals.
3. Now go take full advantage of these hotlinks. Especially the Mario guitar one, that's really rad.