1. I would totally win that - contest, if I weren't -.A. wet t-shirt contest . . such a dedicated nudistB. spelling . . flargC. meditation . . so damn angryD. unicorn riding . . hallucinatingE. three-legged race . . a squid
2. The best part about - is all the sexy ass -.A. Daytona Beach . . NASCAR driversB. the 100 Acre Wood . . stuffed animalsC. developing early . . pedophilesD. prison. . other prisonersE. proctology . . [leave blank]
3. The typical - an average of - a day during Spring Break.A. girl goes wild . . 3.2 timesB. bathroom attendant blocks . . 18 memoriesC. R Kelly song is bumped . . 8,000,000,000 timesD. Romulan destroys . . six Federation StarshipsE. Smurf makes . . 4 surprisingly racist comments
From: TONYTo: ASHLEEGet at me tonight grl we gon be gettin tipsy and I know you can hang LMAO!
4. The word "tipsy" most nearly meansA. 25 to lifeB. into a tiny car and driving in circlesC. hip replacement surgeryD. matching friendship braceletsE. our GEDs
5. The abbreviation "LMAO" most likely stands forA. Lucky My Aunt's Okay!B. Let's Make-out. AyO!C. you're Likely to Miss Another Orgasm!D. I'm so excited by the prospect of intercourse that I've forgotten what words are!E. Lars' Mom is All Over me!
6. In context, the phrase "Get at me" most likely meansA. Validate my life choicesB. Save me from this meathead shell and find the poet withinC. Travel back to 1992 and page meD. Let's switch bodiesE. Lend me $30
_7.) DAY : NIGHT :: _A. Bud Light Lime : Purple DrankB. A suspicious lack of tan lines : Suspiciously long bathroom linesC. Sun : StrobeD. Would you put this lotion my back? : Would you wipe that Red Bull off my friend?E. Lost my suit in the ocean : Dropped my phone in the toilet
_8.) SPRING BREAK : SUMMER BREAK :: _A. Lounging in Cabo : Working at CostcoB. Gettin' felt up in the club : Getting' felt up in your mom's hatchbackC. Meeting new people : Cyber-stalking the people you met during Spring BreakD. I really shouldn't have had that burger : I really shouldn't have had that babyE. One reason to be a teacher : The other reason to be a teacher
_9.) BEACH DAY : ROAD TRIP :: _A. Red Cups : Road SodaB. Flirting with sexy girls : Flirting with deadly truckersC. Hanging ten : Riding bitchD. Cold bottles of lemonade : Warm bottles of car peeE. Skinny dipping : Dude, put your clothes on in this fucking car