I was told that student-athletes at Duke and Stanford have it tougher than those at other sports schools like Maryland or USC, since Duke and Stanford are also known for rigorous academics. Yeah, the 7-foot kid who can't speak English but manages to be a communications major has it real tough. Some football teams have drinking problems, but mine doesn't. My drinking team has a football problem. Every year, students riot when their team loses late in the NCAA tournament, regardless of their seeding. And its absolutely the only time that college students burn stuff and shatter a bunch of beer bottles. Except for at parties. Why does everyone in North Carolina grow up following college basketball? There are so many other things to do there. Like strip clubs, liquor stores, and gun shops for instance. I found out that ballroom dancing is a club sport at my school. I don't want to offend anyone, but what asshole let this happen? If something is a sport, you either need snow, a vehicle, or a ball. And while I don't care if it's snowing or if any of them can drive, I'm sure that guys who letters in ballroom dancing have no balls whatsoever. Like this column? Then buy the book!