Cause: Wanting to eat enough to feed a family of four for under five dollars.
Symptoms: Vomiting, diarrhea, entertaining the thought of doing one of those juice cleanses.
Cures: Water, exercise, not eating again until lunch the next day.
Cause: Deciding to give "Friday Night Lights" a try before going to bed.
Symptoms: Fatigue, sensitivity to noises that give away major plot points, wishing dramatic music played when you stared at someone from afar.
Cures: Spoilers, the beginning of the second season, IMDb bios of the actors you thought you liked or were the same age as.
Cause: Trying to make up for four years of lattes and lethargy in one trip to the gym.
Symptoms: Euphoric soreness, typical soreness, buying a new wardrobe comprised of sweat-wicking fabrics, financial soreness.
Cures: Bragging about it on Facebook, learning to love your body the way it is, "pulling a sitcom" and marrying someone way out of your league.
Cause:Going to sleep early to avoid getting sick, life.
Symptoms: Somehow, waking up even more tired than usual, prolonged grogginess, sensitivity to light, not being able to talk about anything that happened last night.
Cures: Coffee, "hair of the dog."
Cause: Pre-ordering something to do when you were bored two months ago.
Symptoms: Headache, blurred vision, sore throat from trying to explain to your father how game design is an art form.
Cures: Energy drinks, the Internet.
Cause: Smoking too much pot.
Symptoms: Dry mouth, fleeting paranoia, feeling pretty all right.
Cures: Whatever.
