I define "hooking up," as anything sexual, not including sex itself. That is much more than hooking up. That is being completely interlocked. Everyone has their little quirks when it comes to hooking up. So after you've been hooking up with one person for a while and you hook up with someone else, you need to be very careful that you remember not to do that extra swirly thing with your tongue. I know a girl who laughed when she made out with someone. I'm talking right in the middle of it just burst out laughing. And she did this with everyone she ever kissed. Or that's what I tell myself to keep the self-esteem up. I won't ever say someone's name when I'm hooking up with them. Not because I'm afraid of getting it wrong, but because I think it's weird when someone says mine. Even if I'm doing something like fooling around, when someone says, "Steve," it's just instinctive for me to answer with, "what?" There are some guys who just try stuff and see if they get slapped. But most of us will lightly brush up against things first to gauge the reaction. That way if the girl is like "what are you doing?," we can just pretend it was a complete accident that the back of our hand landed squarely between her thighs. Like this column? Then buy the book!