Why does every school have at least one really crappy dorm? And every dorm has at least one really crappy room? Hey college – stop building crappy rooms, okay? Thanks – we appreciate it.

Why do people get so excited by their friends' housing lottery numbers? "My friend got number 2,998 out of 3000! Isn't that wild?" "No way, dude, my friend was number 23!" "Woah – my friend was number, like, 17!" Hey – no one really cares what your friend's lottery number was. Besides, I had a friend who was number 4. Isn't that wild?

There's constantly signs advertising on my campus for people to help fill the last few spaces in suites. I think it would be smarter to post signs looking for a roommate who is going abroad the whole year. Or at least someone with a girlfriend across town.

How horribly backward is special interest housing? At some schools, any minority group can apply for their own suite, floor, or house. So you can only live with people of your own race or religion? I thought America had a problem with this rule the first time when it was called "separate but equal."

If I got number 1 in the housing lottery, I'd sell it to number 50 for $100, then sell that to number 100, sell that to 200, and so on and so on. Sure, I'd end up with the worst room on campus, but it'd be wallpapered in solid gold.

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