I've discovered the secret to doing well in class. Stay quiet the first two or three weeks. Then, approach the teacher after a class and tell them how you're really trying, and you want to do well in the specific subject because your brother/cousin/dog is really good at it and you're trying so hard to have them approve of you and ask what the professor thinks you should do. Then the next class, raise your hand like 30 times. Your ego driven professor will be so impressed with themselves for helping you that they'll up your grade a full point.

If my professor gives out 200 pages of reading, I'll only do the first 50 pages and wonder why they assigned so much. So the next week they give us 50 pages. And yes, I only read the first 10 and wonder why they assigned so much.

My class was talking with the professor once about how the reading started slow. Then one guy said that he got so bored by it that he stopped reading after a few pages. And that's where he lost the rest of us. Say you're at work and you take an hour coffee break. When your boss asks you how the coffee was, you can say, "it was great." You don't say, "It was great. I had it instead of doing your stupid work, you horse's ass."

Why don't some professors let you eat or drink in class? Sometimes I need something to wash down the taste of the bull they've been feeding me.

I heard that more than 90% of everyone at Harvard graduates with honors. First I thought of how that defeated the purpose of honors. But then I thought about the poor schlub who didn't get them and I started wondering how it would feel to know you're the dumbest guy on the floor. But then I remembered that it's not so bad.

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