"Finding my heart, losing my sandals"
It was a hard Valentine's Day for me. I don't have a girlfriend. None of my female friends picked up on my unsubtle hints to get me something. And if that weren't bad enough, I got fired from Taco Bell. Life has taken away the one thing I still loved, my job. And life, if you're listening for next year, I really love my lack of facial hair.
-Why do people say that Valentine's Day has changed into too commercial a holiday? What are they basing that on? It started out in Rome as a day for guys to give girls gifts of affection. If you want to complain about a holiday, try Memorial Day. That holiday has completely changed from how it was before the World Wars.
-If you were single for Valentine's, I hope you stayed home. Sure, you can try to get into the spirit and celebrate somehow, but you'll just look pathetic without a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's like a guy trying to have a period. You just aren't properly equipped.
-Of course, if you aren't attached next year, don't worry. You'll still get chocolate. The only differences are that you'll be buying it yourself, it will be in ice cream form, and you'll be crying into it.
-I've been in quite a few failed relationships in my day. Every time, I saw a problem with the girl, so I figured it was her fault. But now I see that I'm the common factor in all these break-ups. It's possible it might be me.
-My roommate moved out last week. But a part of him is still there in that room. Specifically, the part of him made up of old trash he didn't take with him or throw away.
-Actually, I'll really going to miss that guy. Sure, he smoked weed in a room with a fire alarm, annoyed me, and ate my food. But he was very dependable. Whenever I came back from a night out, he would always tell me who called without forgetting. Wait. I mean, I'm really going to miss that guy's answering machine.
-Recently, my sandals were gone when I left my room unlocked. I later caught the kid who lived next to me wearing them. Instead of chasing him, I just waited back at my room. When he came back, he was amazed that I tracked him down. Stealing from the room next to you is stupid. Kind of like stealing sandals in February.