Dear Diary Its Me Newt Gingrich - Image 1

Dear Diary,
It's me, ur favorite writer/pres. candidate/cute guy :P lol. how are u? (not like u can respond, i know, we've been over this haha). sorry it's been a while since I last wrote, i've just been super distracted (pres campaign) but now i am BACK to writing!!! phew.

well i've got good news and bad news. good news: rick santorum pulled the plug on his campaign a while ago AND my hair looks really good today. bad news: my sleep has been super weird this week AND i am almost definitely never going to be president of the united states.

that is, according to most people. ….BUT NOT TO ME!!!!!!!! because GUESS WHAT, WORLD, I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. like today i just went into the bathroom like four diff times and just screamed at the top of my lungs (but silently of course, im not retarded): "UR NEWT GINGRICH AND UR F*CKING HOT!!!!!!! EVERYONE WANTS U TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THIS STUPID COUNTRY!!!!!!" ok diary relax i didnt mean that, i really love this country (like why else would i have been speaker of the house for a bazillion years lol). but one thing is fact: newt is the sh*t. sorry america, its ur turn to deal with it.

so take that, everyone who looks at me weird when i talk AND YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU, ANN ROMNEY DON'T YOU THINK FOR 1 SECOND THAT I HAVENT NOTICED. ugh she's actually terrible (sorry im not sorry mitt).

more coming later.