As summer draws to a close, you'll probably find yourself wishing you did more with your free time. But it is never too late to have an adventure and it looks like the fat lady has laryngitis and can't quite make it to the stage just yet. Here are some great last minute ideas to milk these last couple weeks of the summer for all it's worth.
Get a tattoo: What better way to commemorate what a "totally friggin awesome" summer this has been than with a little permanent ink? Wow your friends when you get back to school with that really cool butterfly above your ass crack (look" It's purple AND blue!). If you're a fellow, why not try one of the many intriguing barbed wire arm wraps available? Looks like Nick Lachey is one step ahead of you" AGAIN! If you like drugs, you can always get a "tribal": which is just another word for a drawing your stoned friend did on a notebook one day.
Go Skydiving: If you have made it through the summer without seriously injuring yourself, you must be lucky. And why not test that luck by jumping out of a plane 10,000 feet above the ground with nothing but some nylon and a guy from New Zealand on your back to keep you from turning into baby shit? Feel the shit leak from your anus as you plummet at over 100 mph to your semi-certain demise. The good news is you can get a video of this. And believe me, you never look more attractive than when you have 100 mph winds making sure the viewer can see every lipid of fat in your face flapping in the wind like a proud flag. For only $200 you can feel like you're going to die for over 35 SECONDS" WOW!
Go Skinny Dipping: Finally see what all your friends are working with! Going skinny dipping is a great way to look at all your friends naked under the guise of an innocent desire to swim naked. If you throw in some alcohol, these little get-togethers could take a turn for the sexy. Try playing "dirty truth or dare" (always pick dare) or "let's all take a shower." (use warm water) Of course, naked, backwards chicken fight is only to be performed by the closest of friends.
Take a Road Trip: Beep beep, there goes all the money you saved this summer! A simple two day jaunt with your buds to the shore can quickly deplete any money you managed to keep out of your greedy hands this summer. Your best friend will insist on staying in the nicest place, your other bud will make you stay 3 extra days to chase some girl around, and that kid you didn't really want to come will blow the rest of it right up his nose! Oh well, looks like another semester of Ramen Noodles and Milwaukee's Best" but at least you have the memories.
Try the Impossible: They say your first love's your only love. And what better way to spend these last few weeks than desperately trying to nail your high school crush before he/she goes back to school. Humiliation never tasted so useless. Try these little gems out on them, "I always had such a crush on you." "You definitely didn't gain any weight." "remember that one night we almost hooked up" " "No, I just got tested last week." Don't be depressed if all you get is a peck on the cheek and a promise to "totally IM you this year," because at least you tried.
Finally Use That Fake ID: You bought it at school from the weird kid at the end of the hall. You used it to get into all the bars at school. You swore you'd use it all summer and party at all the places in your town. But you have yet to even take it out of your wallet. Suck it up and whip that baby out. Who knows, you could be buying booze for all your friends for the rest of the summer or finally partying with all those 35 year-olds down at the hotel bar.
Go To The Gym: You promised yourself sometime around last March that you would spend the summer getting "fuckin jacked," but you didn't, did you? Well, it's never too late to give it a half-asses attempt. Spend up to an hour a week working out in that new gym you joined 2 months ago for only $399. Maybe your friend's won't call you "Tits" when you get back to school. Maybe" but probably not.
Go See A Concert: Uh Oh, looks like it's time for a little live music fiesta! You spent all summer getting ready for that Dave or Phish show and that time has finally come. Pack up your psychedelic drugs, grab your tent, bag up that granola and don't shower because you've got a festival to attend. In your mind, you see a whole weekend of sexual and mental bliss all set to the soundtrack of a truly "revolutionary" jam band. In reality, you will probably not have enough water, have to shit in the woods, have to take care of "Trevor" who took "way too much shit," and maybe get arrested for possession. Oh well, did you hear the solo on "farmhouse"?
Watch TV: Now here is something that makes sense. Your job ended, you have some money saved up, and you have 2 ½ weeks left before your do back to resume your boredom. Just sit back and watch some TV. Let all your friends blow their money on stupid, desperate pursuits while you sit in your air conditioned house, fanning yourself with all your money. Sure, they'll spend those first few weeks of school showing off their tattoos, looking at pictures from Bonaroo, flexing in the mirror, and telling you tales about their "crazy" trip to Atlantic City. Listen politely, laugh a little, nod your head, but then sit back, light a Cuban with a $100 bill, and laugh your ass off at them.