Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
6 Ways To Survive A Part-Time Job In Retail
December 10, 2012
1. Be a service clerk/bag boy: Here's your chance to make yourself forget that you're even working: The chance to talk to cashiers all day? Better yet, talking to hot customers as you try to gauge their interest? Maybe you could even earn your stripes by teasing some cougs? Uh, yeah. It certainly beats stacking tampons and baby formula all day.
2. A.B.C. (Always Be Carrying): If you remember this important rule, no employee, no matter their self-professed rank, can really bust you. According to some unpublished studies that I conducted prior to writing this article, human beings always,
assume that you're busy if you're carrying something. It can be anything from an empty cardboard box, to a product in the store. Just remember to walk fast with it when you see a senior employee approaching you.
3. Create Nicknames For Everyone: Nothing exudes confidence like giving your fellow employees nicknames. Do you think that guy in customer service has a personality that's dryer than a model train collector's sex life? Call him "Ryan The Robot". Also, be sure to spread it around your department, so they can also follow suit and keep their nickname alive. Accomplish this, and you'll be untouchable.
4. Befriend Your Department Supervisors: No, you don't have to accompany them to backyard chili cook-offs, watch the third season of Scrubs with them, or receive phone calls at 12:24 A.M. where they languish about how they're disappointed with their progress in this human rat race that we call life Just be cordial with them, and if you happen to be slightly humorous, try to include them in a few conversations. If they even end up tolerating you after this, they'll lay off of you if someone else complains about your level of slackitude.
5. Avoid The Politics Of A Grocery Store: Much like any high school that you may have frequented (Or if you didn't graduate that group of friends that you hung around with,) a grocery store includes many people that will be catty, whiny, backstabbers, or just a pain to be around. Try to distance yourself from any particular group at the beginning of your tenure, and attempt to laugh off the negative older cronies that work around you. Instead, try to hang around some of the younger employees the majority of them won't have a political agenda, and would actually have topics of conversation that don't revolve around retail and annoying customers. Plus, you can maybe even hear about some decent parties that are coming up.
6. Don't Take It Seriously: Distance yourself from any pitfalls where you may feel self conscious about what you do for your job. Even though some miserable customers and a few of your peers will have you second-guessing your decision to remain at this particular part-time job, just remind yourself that it's just that: A part-time job. It's not your career path, it's a way to earn some beer money, so treat it as the stepping stone that it so obviously is. If you want to sing obnoxious Top 40 songs in front of customers, do it up. Perhaps you'd want to hand out "Call Me Maybe?" cards to some others? Why not. Try to bring out the positive aspects of the retail experience, and remember that within time, you can treat it as your own personal playground.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.