I am a love sage. I hold the answers to amore's toughest questions. I am possessed with the rare ability to repair a broken heart like an experienced auto mechanic. My words have the power to stitch up a used and shredded spirit. Like a rare balm, they soothe gaping, unrequited wounds. My words massage out the lactic acid that builds up in the love muscle of betrayal. I am a love sage. Ok, so I am really just a 24 year old female who's never had a boyfriend, or been in love, and writes a "sex" column for a website intended for college students that is juxtaposed with lewd advertisements. Still, I do get a lot of e-mails from readers seeking my advice. I do not know why people think that this column qualifies me to give crucial personal guidance. I would think, after reading my tales, one would not want to follow in my romantic footsteps. Yet, lots of people write, and I respond with the confidence of a trained psychologist. Therefore, for my own legal protection, I will be adding this addendum to all future educational e-mails.
* * * * * * * * * * *Upon reading the advice from one, Mindy Raf, please note that she has no clue what she is talking about. She studied European History and Theatre in college, and therefore is not an expert on the art of maintaining healthy relationships with yourself and those around you. I mean, come on people, her last long-term relationship with a man was in the 8th grade. It was three days. She has a fear of commitment and a history of stalker-like behavior towards the opposite sex. She's a mess, and is not responsible for any horrific or emotionally scaring outcome that has occurred as a result of her advice. In addition, she is not liable for any bodily injures that may have occurred when attempting the advice from any of her e-mails; especially those entitled, "Fun things to do with your body during your lunch break," "Stretching is overrated," and "Stop, Drop and Roll: feel like a hero in the bedroom." Moreover, when her advice backfires and subsequently ruins your life, please do not send her e-mails with "Die Bitch Die" in the subject line. This frightens Mindy Raf who has always stated to her readers that, "violence is never the answer."