The Streety Awards IIILadies and gentlemen, welcome to the voting for the third Streety Awards. The Streetys are decided by you, not some overpaid industry "expert" sitting around sipping mochas and lighting Cubans with his intern's hair. Also, the Streetys cover all manner of entertainment while ignoring such awards as "best digital sound editing" and "best use of duct tape on a soap opera set" so you get to the good stuff. Without further ado, here are your nominees for the third 2004 Streety Awards!Biggest Lips.1. Angelina Jolie2. Hillary Duff3. Jenna Jameson (of the pubic variety)4. That guy from "Forest Gump"Preferred Brand of Bottled Water1. Poland Springs2. Deer Park3. Fiji4. Ol' Sammy's Bottled Cure-all TonicFavorite Cigarette1. Parliament Light2. Marlboro Light3. Newport4. Camel LightFavorite British Soccer (football) Team1. Manchester United2. Liverpool3. London Arsenal4. West Ham. UnitedFattest Celebrity to still be called "Sexy"1. Kirsty Alley2. Oprah3. Bridgette Neilson4. MeatloafMedical Affliction That Will Most Likely Affect you In 20 Years1. Baldness2. Menopause3. Irritable Bowel Syndrome4. Advanced Pickling of the LiverSinger Most Likely to get Knocked Up1. Britney Spears2. XXXTina (Christina) Aguleira3. Clay Aiken4. PinkGreatest Man in America1. Jon Stewart2. George W. Bush3. John Kerry4. MeHow Much Did You Drink This Weekend1. Dude" I don't even know2. I like vodka3. 474. Enough to screw that ugly guy/girl on my floorWhat's That Smell?1. Your feet2. The Indian kid in 3053. What?
It wasn't me.4. My body detoxifying itselfBest Real World Cast1. Philadelphia2. San Francisco3. Las Vegas4. Des MoinesMost Unattractive Piece of Clothing1. Tighty Whiteys2. Granny Panties3. Stirrup Pants (the kind that the fat girls wore in 3rd grade)4. Ug BootsHow Much Do You Hate Britney Spears' New Husband 1. More than Hitler2. Thiiiiiiiiiiis much3. Like I hate when Daddy hits Mommy4. Almost more than I hate her.My Birthday is1. September 21, 19912. December 2, 19823. Marchuary 37, 19114. January 2, 1985Male B-List Celebrity That Most Often Appears on Collegehumor1. Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding)2. Bob Sagat (Full House)3. Dustin Diamond (Screech)4. Jerry Springer (douchebag)Worst Name To Call Your Mom1. Bitch2. Skank3. Whore4. NancyWorst Name to be Called By Your Mom1. Thurman2. Wendel3. Todd4. MistakeSong That Needs To Go Away1. "Lean Back"2. "This Love"3. "Pieces of Me"4. "Streeter Sings: Patriotic Songs For Our Time"Crappiest Store1. K-Mart2. Wal-Mart3. Ocean State Job Lot4. Big C's Crack Cocaine Distributors ltd.Best Cut of Steak1. Prime Rib2. Filet Mignon3. London broil4. I'm a big pussy and don't eat meat because it's cruel and I'm a crybaby.Best Name For a Cool Guy in High School1. Dylan Winters2. Parker Hamilton3. Hunter Gavin4. Sonny "Skip" ScottFunniest Movie Starring John Candy1. "Uncle Buck"2. "The Great Outdoors"3. "Canadian Bacon"4. "Trains, Planes and Automobiles"Please email your votes to firstname.lastname@example.org. When all the votes are tallied, I'll announce the winners. Write-ins are welcome.