There are several good ways one can become more clever. For example, one could read books. Reading the complete works of say, Heidegger, is almost guaranteed to raise one's intelligence quotient, at least by a smidge. One might also dedicate one's life to the study of something like linear metathesis in, say, Fijian. Or, one might study something like aerospace engineering, or biochemistry, or inferential statistics, or cryptography.
That is not your case. You are putzing around the Internet trying to read something that'll teach you how to be smarter. You need a shortcut.
The shortcut is, obviously, to appear more clever without actually improving the frequency of your synapses. Here are six tested ways to make yourself appear smarter to other people:
Note: Existentialism has been overdone; stay away from it. And from abstract art. Abstract art is so ridiculous, that the premise of any opinion about it is nonsensical. You might spit out a short sentence that makes no sense and accidentally say something appropriate. Don't fall for that: you don't want to be right; you want to be more clever.
Once you picked your clever reference, use it often and, if possible, in casual situations. That's when your friends will have their proverbial pants down and you can stick it to them good with your cleverness. I'll illustrate this with a real-life example: I used to have an e-mail username called fregeforbeginners. This handle cleverly implied that not only did I know who Frege was, but that I knew enough about him to teach his work to beginners. Basically, people saw my handle pop-up and immediately assumed I was at least an intermediate Frege scholar.
For example, you might write in a note to your boss, "Ask yourself: are your shoelaces tied?" and doodle a stick figure with horns next to it. This is an excellent example of being clever in writing. For one, you would never get away with asking this in person, people would just think you're demented; and, two, you couldn't draw a stick figure. But, if you sent someone a note, the following would happen:
a) People will actually ask themselves if their shoelaces are tied, simply because people love being told to ask themselves stuff.b) They will assume you're not talking about actual shoelaces (why would anyone spend 42 cents on a note about that?) and will rack their brains trying to figure out what you cleverly meant.c) The stick figure with horns is your real pot of gold. If you can and I'm sure you can make it look really dumb. People will be moved by your child-like genius. Additionally, horns are very scary and people always think scary stuff is clever. They just do.