(only people who play halo will get this or care. If you don't, go away ro something. I dunno. I'm tired.)

Going to a community college isn't very exciting. For those of you who don't attend one, it's basically 13th grade of high school, only you're allowed to smoke on campus and your classmates can and will buy you beer at lunchtime.

Other than that it's not very exciting. I believe, however, that by combining the dull life of community college with the nonstop action of Halo 2 for the Microsoft X-Box, every semester can be killtacular and un-friggin-believable!

At my ideal college, every day will be a "fiesta" game type. Those who don't play Halo might not be familiar with the Fiesta. They'll be the first to go; I'm not explaining it.

A "Fiesta" is when each player starts out with a different weapon. Ideally, one would prefer to start out with a stronger weapon like the Covenant sword or the Rocket launcher. Each student will spawn somewhere on campus and the objective will be to escort one player who will be carrying the bomb (we will call this "the Learning Bomb") to class. The catch is, your rival teams will also be trying to get to class that day, so you'll have to deter their efforts to get to class first. This will give each student lots of experience in the competetive job market. It also makes boot camp obsolete for those who are economically inclined to join the military. Everyone wins in that case.

The major academic threat will no longer be plagiarism. From now on, the scourge of academic dishonesty will modem standby, a process by which the host team causes lag for everyone else, making their win far easier. These people will be reported to the school administration and kicked out forever. Speaking of the administration, the school president will no longer have an official title or name. All offices, including security, financial aid, and registration, will be mixed into one, and given the title "Bungie.net."

Instead of scholarships, exceptional students will from now on be awarded the Sword. The sword pretty much owns everything.

The team who brings the Learning Bomb to the classroom first gets to take class on that particular day. Their rank also goes up. Upon graduation, you rank pretty much determines where you get at life. So if you suck at Halo, you suck at life.

I need a life. I'm gonna go play Halo.