We've all seen them, they make their way into the AIM profile of girls from all kinds of sports teams. Date a volley ball player because, "We can't get enough balls!" date a swimmer because, "We love to get wet!" Well I'm not dating any of you whores until you get a life and stop making those goddamn lists. Here's the top ten reasons why:
10. You're conceited. You think you're so cool Miss Softball player because you "like to round the bases" Well I'm sorry but you're not the greatest thing since sliced bread" because being smug is a complete turnoff, and sliced bread is fucking awesome.
9: You're all posers. You copy each other, man. Come on, basically every single one of you says, "We're always looking to score!" unless you play a sport that focuses on endurance rather than goal scoring, in which case you will undoubtedly say, "We're always willing to go the distance!" Real original, tramp.
8. A good number of your reasons don't make sense. I admit some of your suggestions can be clever, but isn't it a little ridiculous to be like, "Date a badminton player because we love the (shuttle)cock!" You can't just ignore the word "shuttle", it changes the meaning of the statement entirely.
7. You're trying too hard. I'm really not the kind of guy who has a check list 10 items long that I must go through before trying to get with someone. In fact, I really only need one thing on your list: "1. If you get me drunk enough I will probably sleep with you, or at least give you a blowjob." Really? Perfect, you're in!
6. You won't have time for me! You're clearly very devoted to that sport you play since you think it's so cool that you participate in it. And when you're not busy practicing or playing that sport you're probably sitting on your computer making up lists.
5. I bet you're ugly. Swimmers have big shoulders, softball players have big hips, runners are too skinny, basketball players are too tall and for God's sake, cheerleading isn't a sport!
4. We're not compatible. Obviously you play a sport, which means you're somewhat active. Which clearly means we're going to butt heads over stupid little things like how I wake up no earlier than 2 in the afternoon, or that I sit on my futon naked and watching re-runs of Boy Meets World all day.
3. Can't I just date one of your chubby friends? I don't want to deal with some girl who has a superiority complex, and you clearly think you're hot shit. I think I'll stick to the one ugly girl you decent looking ones keep around to make yourselves feel good, her self esteem is so low that she'll do anything!
2. Anyone can come up with one of these lists, not everything on them is an absolute fact. Maybe I should date one of those nerdy chicks from the psychology club right? Because her "favorite part of the body is the head!" give me a break, loser!
1. You probably wouldn't go out with me anyway. :(