Welcome to Date-Lie, a dating website designed specifically for compulsive liars. If you're here, then you've already made up multiple lies for why you're not here. That's a good thing it means you've come to the right place.
Date-Lie is not for simple exaggerators like all of those other "normal" dating sites. Only Date-Lie includes complete fabrications on every single section of the site to ensure that you are paired with the most perfect person you can possibly imagine. The kind of person that can't possibly exist in real life. And the kind of person you will only find on Date-Lie.
Date-Lie will match you based on your looks, personality, job, hobbies and lying ability, all of which will be lies. That's fine, of course, because everyone else's will be lies, too. Think of Date-Lie as a level playing field for compulsive liars that happen to be honest about one thing: wanting to meet other liars. Unless they're lying about that too, which I'm sure they are.
Date-Lie algorithms match you based on the creativity of your lies. Your perfect match lies as well as you do. In fact, your perfect match lies better than you do. With Date-Lie, you'll find a match with lies that you believe, a match with lies that titillate you, and most importantly, a match with lies that inspire you to lie even more dishonestly.
We guarantee that every person who signs up for Date-Lie will meet their perfect match. And, we guarantee that this guarantee is a lie. No other site can guarantee this guarantee as confidently as we can.
Take a look around the site to see all of the compulsive liars looking for a match just like you. If a match looks familiar, that's because they probably are. Their picture is likely just a celebrity photo scraped from the internet. Just because we're liars doesn't mean we don't know how to use Google Images.
If you're skeptical about Date-Lie's matching ability and you should be here's a recent success story:
Sheldon is a semi-retired hall of fame football quarterback who now trains poodles and rattlesnakes. He has a rare half-dollar coin collection valued in the millions. He looks just like Channing Tatum.
Claire was a dancer in Vegas until she decided to move east to join the New York City Ballet. When she's not dancing, she teaches advanced knitting in an elderly home. She looks just like Natalie Portman.
Sheldon and Claire are two compulsive liars who met on Date-Lie and are attempting to set a date location. As soon as one of them takes a moment to stop lying about where they want to meet, we swear that the date will actually happen.
Let's face it you're a liar and I'm a liar. In fact, I'm lying right now. I know nothing about you. I'm just making a guess about you because you're on a dating website for compulsive liars. That's the truth! No, really you can trust me. Really, you can! Oh, fuck it, what am I saying? This website doesn't even exist. It's just a blank page with some HTML that I put together so I could lie to my wife about having a job. Whatever. You'll never believe a word of this anyway.
Alex J. Mann is a writer living in New York City. You can follow him on Twitter here .