Can you call something with only two ingredients a "recipe?" Apparently on The Food Network you can. Here are the 12 most unnecessary, misguided, stupidest recipes currently on their website.

1. Add Honey to Squeezable Margarine, And Then Call it Butter

Fun Fact: No good recipe has ever concluded with the sentence "Squeeze onto hot biscuits."

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2. How to Put Seeds on a Saltine

Apparently saltines were so difficult someone had to "make them easy." And even though this recipe is astoundingly simple, it's still more difficult than the way most people eat saltines.

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3. How to Microwave a Towel

Includes the warning: hot towels are hot.

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4. How to Dip Potato Chips in Melted Chocolate

Do they know that chocolate chips are already a thing? A very different thing.

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5. Why Not Cram All Your Leftovers Into an Ice Cream Cone, Because Who Needs Dignity?

Next, I'll show you how to eat pudding off a napkin.

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6. Turn Regular Popcorn into Microwave Popcorn by Putting It in a Paper Bag

Most of these recipes would make just as much sense coming out of the mouth of some weird, lonely bachelor.

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7. Microwave 8 Strips of Bacon

This recipe makes me imagine Rachel Ray getting up in the middle of the night to eat a pile of bacon.

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8. How to Put Spinach in the Microwave

"Put in the microwave for 30 seconds, or four times longer than that; I don't give a shit."

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9. How to Add Butter to Peas

Does this really take 5 minutes?

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10. What If We Bought Donuts, Stuffed Them In Ice Cream and Fudge, and Called Them Profiteroles?

You'd still respect me? What if we called them a really dumb name?

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11. Add Sugar to a Milkshake for No Reason

Alright, maybe, MAYBE someone doesn't know how to make a milkshake. Fine. But why would you ever add sugar? Half of a cup of sugar! And then why would you say "8 Tablespoons" instead of "1/2 cup?"

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12. How to Heat Up Ham

"Serve with frittata. No we won't tell you how to make frittata. We already told you how to heat up the ham. Do we have to do everything?"

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