Things that make it seem like I have no friends even though I actually have a lot - Image 1

I always stand around and wait for someone. Not because I have plans or anything, I just read where people are on Facebook and then I stand around and wait for them. I don't even want to, like, join them, I just want to say "hi." This doesn't mean that I don't have any friends to hang out with, or to make my own plans with. I guess it's because I'm a people-pleaser and I know that nothing makes me happier than when people say "hi" to me, so I like to go out of my way to make people feel the same way. Sue me.




Things that make it seem like I have no friends even though I actually have a lot - Image 1

Of course when I wait around for people I cant just stand and stare into thin air, that would look crazy. So I like to text. And I don't do that fake pretend-text thing that people (and sometimes myself, subpoena me) like to do at parties when they can't find any of their friends. I actually text people. Sure most of my text don't get any replies, but I don't blame people for that. Sometimes knock-knock jokes just don't translate as well over text, and it is not really a joke that people need to participate in. Besides, my mom doesn't always get knock-knock jokes, so of course she isn't going to respond. What can I say? I like knock-knock jokes. Get a restraining order on me and drag me to court.




Things that make it seem like I have no friends even though I actually have a lot - Image 1

This one is not even a big deal. I send out tons of facebook invites all the time. Yeah I know, I'm that guy. Get an attorney that would be willing to work pro bono for you, just because he hates me that much, and sue me. And sure 85% of the people I invite never respond to the invites I send out, but that is a given when you invite all thirty of your facebook friends. Sometimes I'm not even inviting them to a real event. I just like to let my friends know that I'm still on Facebook in case they want to chat or something. I'm sorry, I'm not sorry. Please sue me, I could really use the wake-up call.




Things that make it seem like I have no friends even though I actually have a lot - Image 1

Not because we aren't the best of friends, but more because we don't like to put labels on us. Knock-knock. Who's there? I'm an attorney and I've come here to sue you. Yes finally, I've always wanted to see the insides of a court house (one of my better knock-knock jokes). If you had to call us anything, you might call us a study unit, because it consists of only one unit. Me. On the other hand it is the best study unit on off-campus. And I know what you are thinking, but it's not because I don't have any friends. It's because my friends have other friends, and they already made a group, and even though I was that guy before, I don't want to be that guy that has to ask people afterwards to let them in their group. I live by an invite-only policy. Is it possible to sue yourself?




Things that make it seem like I have no friends even though I actually have a lot - Image 1

If you want we can go to court and they can testify on it. Told you I had friends.