1. Shark Gloves that Rip Off Your Skin $1,000
"Lasting Impression" gloves are made out of 100% real basking sharkskin lined with inward slanting mic-rose thorns. This makes it so the wearer has to go through a preeeeeetttttty painful process, like that of "ten thousand fish hooks" (according to the description), to get them off, which is why it is recommended to remove them by cutting those suckers right off your body. So yes. You can pay a measly $1,000 to kill an entire shark and wear it's skin on your stupid hands for one time only.
Go to srulirecht.com for more information.
2. Wearable Copy of Your Face $6,000
"Real-f: Print 3D Masks of Your Face" may be the creepiest/narcissistic product you can buy. A Japanese based company makes a 3D rendering of you face on a computer, and then prints it onto a vinyl chloride resin material. From anywhere between $4,000 to $6,000 you can put your face on top of your real face. Or you can make your friend's wear it. And you can definitely run around screaming "IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET."
3. Giant Stiletto Heel Sculpture $24,000
You can buy a giant six-foot-tall red stiletto high heel sculpture for $24,000. Of course, this is to be purchased by someone with a pretty dedicated foot and heel fetish who simultaneously loves enormous gaudy artworks cluttering their home. Quentin Tarantino, I'm looking at you.
4. Tea Picked by the Mouths of Virgins Price not disclosed, but it's a lot.
If you're an avid tea drinker but a giant creep, then China has the product for you. For a lot of money, you can pay for a package of tea that is picked by a 16-year-old Chinese virgin. With their mouths. In addition, these women are required to have a C-Cup bra size and have no visible scars, because that makes the tea magical or something. So, super weird.
5. Panda Shit Tea $3,500
If you're less of a underaged virgin fan and more of a poop enthusiast, you can also purchase Panda Tea, or Panda Dung tea for a mild $3,500 per 16 cups (or $200 a cup). And it's exactly what it sounds like. Just some tea brewed with panda shit. For thousands of dollars. Thanks again, China.
6. Enormous Penis Sculpture $10,000
If you've ever thought to yourself that your life has a void in it, then you can fill it with this twenty-foot penis sculpture. It'll cost you $10,000, but no one will EVER question your masculinity again. Just your sanity. And your taste in art.
7. Unicorn Hair Butt Plug $3,000
So you're thinking about buying a butt plug. It's okay, eventually everyone comes to that milestone. Well, you're in luck if you have $3, 475 and a thing for unicorns. Beton Vernon sells a unicorn butt plug made from silver and real horses mane. 'Cause, sure okay. You can literally say you've (kinda?) shit on three grand. Good for you.