Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

Sit on a Barbed Wire Dildo

He pissed me off to the point where I told him to sit on a barbwire dildo and changed every language on his PS3 to different languages. some korean, others spanish, and who knows what else.- glassspire

My housemate went overseas for 6 months and left me with a 50 year old Iranian man who would spend close to an hour in the toilet each night and cut his nose hairs before arranging them neatly on the tap. Anyway. The day before I finally moved out I poured milk on her mattress so she would never be able to quite get that smell out of her room without getting a new bed.- themostboringblogever

The first time I met my freshman college roommate, I was leaving the room after having unpacked my things while he was coming in to unpack his. The second time I met him was later that day when I unlocked the door to find him sitting on the bed with a blanket over his lap with his girlfriend standing next to the bed. His parents were nowhere to be found. Mine, fortunately, along with my younger brother and sister, walked in with me.- mariothecellist

I was so pissed at my previous roommate that I actually pissed in some of her perfume.- celluloidchild

I had a room mate who was the definition of duesch-baggery. This guy was a journalism major that thought he knew everything. He would constantly use my stuff without asking, wear my clothes, lay in my bed, or come home late many nights being loud as possible having just gotten his drunken ass beaten up at high school party. When i finally moved out, i switched our PS2s since mine had broken earlier that year. The next semester, he'd stop by my new room to visit despite the wishes of everyone in the dorm. He would still be drunk or high most of the time and would mooch on our food and borrow our computers. He would just show up and never leave. One night we left nothing but old cafeteria food soaking in piss in the fridge. He helped himself as usual. He ate the whole thing. Served him right.- Anonymous

Brian, I told you I was trying to study and to turn down your horrible music selection. No one in the building wants to listen to you attempt to sing Spice Girls. Sorry, but I was the one who put all those NdFeb magnets around your iPod and your external hard drive. Well, Chris helped (he borrowed them from the Physics lab). I hope you never listen to that shit again.- Anonymous

I used to lease an appartment with four other guys. All of us paid the same amount, but one guy decided that he got preferrential treatment because it was his name on he lease. He was the only one with his own room, he used all the hot water during his forty minute showers, ate just about everything in the fridge, and pissed off everyone. On the last day of finals the rest of us decided to get him back. When he went to take his chemistry final we used some industrial strength glue to stick a bunch of dildos on the walls. When he got back we acted like the guys living below us did it and when he tried to pull one off the wall he tore a huge hole in the wall. And, since its his name on the lease he got stuck with the bills for all eight holes in the walls.- Anonymous

Sorry Alex, I love you but this is a mystery that had to be solved. Remember one night last semester when we all got ridiculously hammered and the two of us blacked out, not remembering much from the night before. Also, remember how when you woke up it was wet in your bed and it smelled like piss. You thought you must have pissed your bed, and I let you believe that. Well, it was really me. One of the few memories I do have of that night is of standing on your bed and pissing all over you. Sorry dude, I thought it would be funny at the time.- Anonymous

I have finally become fed up with cleaning up after your lazy ass and constantly washing your gross, moldy dishes that you leave in the sink for weeks. There was no toilet paper in our downstairs bathroom, and I did not want to "drip dry." So I eyed the hand towel by the sink and wiped with it. I put it with the rest of the dirty towels, and watched you move them to make room make room for other things. I saw your hand touch the towel I used to wipe, and then you touched your face. Have fun with that one!- Anonymous