We told readers to send in topics for papers they had to write, and we'd write the papers for them in an hour (ish). So here's what we came up with, in all their guaranteed-A-getting glory!

PAPER #1:

Here you go, Josh – a paper that's definitely not just giant chunks of BS:


We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are
We Promised To Write Two Awesome Term Papers For Our Readers In One Hour Here They Are
We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are
We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are

PAPER #2:

Coming right up, Matt:


We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are
We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are
We Wrote Two Awesome Term Papers For Readers Here They Are