Welcome to Rough Love, the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories. If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

Its So Big The Spider, I Mean

So after doing it tonight my wife is washing up in the bathroom and I come in to pee. I pull it out and here her excitedly say "it's so big, it's so big." "I'm like ya baby it sure is hope you liked it" and then realize she's actually freaking out because a huge spider ran across the floor. There we go.- Anonymous

I just returned from work to find a half empty bottle of vodka, and a totally plastered girlfriend. After saying the usual hello's i could tell she was quite drunk and quite pissed off, I continued to ask her what was wrong until she started yelling about how I don't find her attractive anymore and don't love her. This continued into her telling me she has cried so hard that she threw up all over my bathroom because she was upset we've only had sex 3 times in the last 5 days(not because of the half empty bottle of course), and that she had started her period today. It took 2 hours of crying, and some period shower sex to calm her down. The cherry on top? I tried to have morning sex before work today and she wasn't into it.- Anonymous

Right when we had first begun dating, there was one night that my boyfriend and I were texting about our plans for the evening. Towards thr end of the conversation he sent me a text stating "Oh yea, that's fine. We'll just play it by year." At first I thought it was a typo, and then I thought about it and replied "By year? You mean "by ear"?" He response "Is that the phrase?"response "Is that the phrase?" It was then that I realized he's been saying "Play it by year" for 20 ears.- Anonymous

My on/off again boyfriend, of 5 years, and I never really did anything that was romantic. So I honestly was tickled pink when he msged me in WoW to meet him in Dalaran on Valentine's day. He shared the 'Romantic Picnic' with me. He surprised me with it again the next year and it made me just as happy as the first time.- Anonymous

During my junior year of high school, I was walking to class when my girlfriend runs up to me and says, "Guess what? I just got asked to prom by this random weirdo!" Without thinking, I replied, "Whoa, that guy must have been desperate." I'm really surprised that we continued to date after that.- Anonymous

My boyfriend, every so often, wakes me up in the middle of the night by kissing me or sticking his hands down my pants on a quest for a blowjob. I don't really mind this, but it is absolutely hilarious to discuss it with him the next day since he doesn't remember. He does it at least once every month and it's become a big talking point between his roommates and us. He's also very proud of the fact that he is fully capable of getting a blowjob out of me while he is asleep. 6 times now.- Anonymous

Although I don't like to admit it, I'm a smart kid. I've always told my girlfriends that I don't do study dates, because I'm the romantic type and we'd never get anything done. Having been told this, my girlfriend wanted me to help her with her math homework one day. I reminded her that we probably wouldn't get anything done, and she just shrugged it off and insisted I help her. I agreed and we went to her house to work. I was trying to show her how to work out a problem, and she starts rubbing up on me. She eventually puts her head on my shoulder and starts to look like she's falling asleep. I say, "come on, we've got to do your homework." She looks at me like she wanted a kiss. I insisted again that we do the homework. She goes in for a kiss and I, not wanting to let her down, kiss back. We makeout for a few seconds and suddenly she pulls away and says, "AHA! You just wanted to make-out instead of helping me with my homework!" She subsequently kicks me out of her house and doesn't talk to me until halfway through the next school day. And I was the one who wanted to help her study. Turns out, she failed her math test the following week.- Anonymous

My (ex now) boyfriend were just finished having sex and laying there naked, when I decide it's a genius plan to text my ex and tell him that I had just finished having the best sex of my life (Because that's all this ex seemed to ever want) So he got angry, called me a few choice names, and i didn't hear for him for a few minutes. I roll over and cuddle my then-boyfriend, only to hear my mother's angry boyfriend knocking at my door. I proceed to jump up and hold my door closed as he's trying to get in. It turns out my ex had called my parents and informed them what I was up to in my room, out of complete jealousy.- Anonymous

One of my Ex`s thought it would be funny to embarass me by asking me to go into a very busy store and buy her tampons for her. Her face was a picture when I walked to the very back and shouted as loud as I can "Which ones do you want to shove in you… The normal ones or is it trickling down your leg again?! Needless to say she never asked me again.- Anonymous