Welcome to Idiotech, the column where we shame your parents, teachers, and other old people for being dumb about technology. If you think your parents are even stupider than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

iPhones With Messaging Are Heavier, Obviously

I was showing my grandma how to use an iPhone yesterday. My grandpa already has one, so I figured it would be an easy thing for her to grasp. As she held mine, she said that mine was definitely heavier than my grandpa's (we both have the 4…) I said no, that's not possible, because we have the same phone. Then, straight faced, she said mine has to weigh more because it has messaging. Yeah.- potentially-problematical

Whenever my mother goes to a webpage that asks username/e-mail and password, she types her e-mail and her e-mail's password, and even though she's not a member of the site she is trying to log in, she gets pissed off because the site tells her the password is incorrect. She keeps saying that she knows her password better than those sites. The last site she attempted this was Twitter. She had never before been there…- Anonymous

My dad's been addicted to Angry Birds for two months now, and he plays it constantly. Last night he ran into my room, ecstatic, to tell me the "cheat" he had just discovered: The yellow bird speeds up if you touch him in mid-air. Apparently all the other birds have "powers" too, and he's going to let me know when he figures them out. Two months this man has been playing.an has been playing.- Anonymous

Literally every time my mom tells me about a video game console its always called "the nintendo" I had to tell her constantly that its called the "xbox 360" the "PS3" but by the next day its still "the nintendo". FYI I have never once owned anything by nintendo except for the SNES- Anonymous

My Mother in law doesn't have a land line, she uses her cell phone to call us in Las Vegas from New Mexico all the time without incident. Once I was traveling to Pennsylvania for a wedding and she called me (still from her house in New Mexico) while I was there to see how her reception was in Pennsylvania.- Anonymous

My mom sends me messages on facebook, then texts me to tell me she sent me a message.- Anonymous

The other day my dad sent me a text that read "B-) ohwowIhaveSmileys?whoknew!! :)" Great, dad. I'm glad they gave you smileys, but it's too bad they didn't give you a space key.- Anonymous

My mom once told me: "Be careful what you put on the internets; it may wind up on the youtubes and then you'll never get a good job."- Anonymous

When I got my new laptop my grandmother asked me if I had downloaded my email onto it yet.- Anonymous