Why The Supreme Court Unanimously Ruled that Human Genes Cant Be Patented

1. If enough genes are patented, babies could be considered copyright infringement.

2. They confused genes and jeans, and pants must have already been patented, right?

3. Justice Thomas didn't want to read million character-long strings of "AGTCTGAGA. . . "

4. The Supreme Court didn't want to put more regulations on the mad scientist community.

5. Justice Scalia is still on the fence as to whether Mendel's pea experiments really proved anything.

6. Chief Justice Roberts is worried that a single person could patent the genes to being totally swoll, and then be the only legally swoll man or woman on Earth.

7. Justice Ginsberg doesn't want to have to pay royalties to make that combination baby-freight ship she's been talking about.

8. Justice Alito didn't want to have to bing what the difference between DNA and RNA was.