The Complete Rules of Filibustering in the Texas State Senate

1. When a member has been recognized and is speaking on a motion to re-refer a bill, he must stand upright at his desk and may not lean thereon.
2. When speaking, a member must confine himself to the subject under debate. In discussing an amendment, the debate must be confined to the amendment and not include the general merits of the bill or other proposition.
3. Should a member violate the rules three times (strikes), they shall be deemed "out."
4. No "takesy-backsies" will be recognized if a member speaks on a non-germane topic, the speaking member may not "say, oh, wait a minute" and then make a rewinding sound and start over. This rule will still be in effect even if the rewinding sound is eerily accurate, and kind of cool.
5. The speaking member will not play as Oddjob.

6. No bathroom breaks will be allowed, as determined by the "you should have gone before we started" law.
7. A filibuster may be ended if it is deemed that the speaking member "totally cheated earlier," and that the whole thing "is way unfair."
8. If a speaking member makes clear his intention of a filibuster, those siding with the speaking member will be the "shirted party" while opposing member will continue the session with their shirts removed, or as "skins."
9. The walls of the Capitol are lava.
10. If a speaking member completes his filibuster with no strikes, members of the opposing party must streak the Senate floor.
11. A session of congress will conclude when the street lights come on.
12. If a speaking member filibusters the same filibuster as a non-speaking member at the same time, the speaking member is said to be jinxed and his filibuster concluded, unless another member immediately speaks his name three times. Any member wishing to break a speaking member's jinx is himself subject to being jinxed, and will forfeit his turn to speak in the debate.