1. Walter White is a man who turned to manufacturing methamphetamine in an effort to make sure his family can survive financially after he dies from an inoperable lung cancer.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back



2. Jesse Pinkman is another man who helps Walt cook the meth.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back



3. The plural form of man is men.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back



4. Men have penises.


[ED. NOTE: Image removed]



5. Penises are sometimes called "dicks."


[ED. NOTE: Image removed]



6. If you refer to a man as a dick, it means you don't like them.


[ED. NOTE: Image removed. Again, yes. We're really sorry about all of this, but remain powerless against Mr. Watt's strangely specific contract.]



7. "Breaking Bad" "creator" Vince Gilligan is a soulless DICK who stole my idea for a TV show when we met back in 2011 at the Chili's in the Albuquerque airport.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back


[ED. NOTE: "Breaking Bad" premiered on January 20, 2008. CollegeHumor in no way endorses or believes Mr. Watt's claims and rues the day we agreed to publish anything and everything Mr. Watt writes or dictates in what we're required to refer to as a "tasteful" representation of how asian men speak. Mr. Watt has been removed from the office and will be taken to the first Wendy's that lets you pour your own Mr. Pibb, as is our contractual obligation to the author.]



8. Alex Watt rules and deserves all of the credit for this show that SUCKS, but wouldn't if some jerk-ass didn't take his idea.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back


[ED. NOTE: Image replaced with a photograph of Mr. Watt at our annual holiday party or the "Christ-denying Lame Fest," as he described it.]



9. Vince Gilligan = shit.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back


[ED. NOTE: Editors = shit.]

[ACTUAL ED. NOTE: God damn it. Curse Alex Watt and his army of definitely stacked topless lawyers he probably has sex with.]

[REAL ACTUAL ED. NOTE: We, ugh. Do we actually have to explain that?]



10. Alex Watt is deeply sorry for his actions and looks forward to a fresh new start when he returns from a reflective journey.


10 Things You NEED to Know Before Breaking Bad Comes Back

[ED. NOTE: The above image was sent to us via Alex Watt's spiritual advisor three weeks after we decided to break our contract with Mr. Watt (as it turns out, 420.69 lbs of cumin isn't really that expensive). We're told it's a painting of his, but a simple Google image search revealed that it is a picture that's commonly shared without any attribution on the popular social networking site Facebook.]


Alex Watt is on Twitter, Tumblr and an ego trip.