Why should anyone walk FOUR MINUTES to the convenience store when that wasp's nest is right out the window and rich in pulp? It's basically the same thing.
Hmm, either every dish is dirty and he's avoiding them, or he really does prefer eating cereal out of a champagne flute with a mechanical pencil?
I realize you used the rest of our plastic wrap making that failed Beer Slip n' Slide at our last party, so I'll just passive-aggressively leave this aluminum foil next to your pillow.
I'm not disputing your claim that a bank pen on a chain will hold up your cargo shorts as well as any belt, I'm just saying it'd be fun to stand at complete opposite ends of the room for this entire party.
What's in those? Clothes? Can't be, because he'd open them and wear some. Actual garbage? No, he's not clean enough to properly fill and tie seven garbage bags. The only possible explanation is that it's full of secret treasure. Filthy, filthy treasure.
...But did you wear those lime green sweatpants you've slept in the past eleven nights to your Intro To Philosophy class?
This isn't messy-related, but you are in for a terrible, terrible year. Have fun!
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