1. They use every possible paper alternative instead of buying new toilet paper

 

Why should anyone walk FOUR MINUTES to the convenience store when that wasp's nest is right out the window and rich in pulp? It's basically the same thing.

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

2. You notice them eating out of a clearly-wrong bowl with a clearly-wrong utensil

 

Hmm, either every dish is dirty and he's avoiding them, or he really does prefer eating cereal out of a champagne flute with a mechanical pencil?

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

3. You find a huge pizza box jammed in the fridge with one slice left in it

 

I realize you used the rest of our plastic wrap making that failed Beer Slip n' Slide at our last party, so I'll just passive-aggressively leave this aluminum foil next to your pillow.

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

4. They constantly wear clothing that no one who's done laundry in the past calendar year would ever think about wearing

 

I'm not disputing your claim that a bank pen on a chain will hold up your cargo shorts as well as any belt, I'm just saying it'd be fun to stand at complete opposite ends of the room for this entire party.

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

5. They own between three and seven garbage bags that are never explained

 

What's in those? Clothes? Can't be, because he'd open them and wear some. Actual garbage? No, he's not clean enough to properly fill and tie seven garbage bags. The only possible explanation is that it's full of secret treasure. Filthy, filthy treasure.

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

6. They attempt to explain their philosophical theory about what the word "Clean" even really means

 

...But did you wear those lime green sweatpants you've slept in the past eleven nights to your Intro To Philosophy class?

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

7. Every time you order pizza, they insist they don't want any, then they eat a slice when the pizza comes and say "I'll give you some money if it's that big a deal"

 

This isn't messy-related, but you are in for a terrible, terrible year. Have fun!

 

7 Ways To Instantly Tell If Your New Roommates A Giant Slob

 

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