From Caldwell Tanner on
By Caldwell Tanner
How Being Single is Different from Being in a Relationship -or- Single vs. In a Relationship Image Description: This will be laid out like a Then & Now, with Single on the left and Relationship on the right. PARTIES Single: A guy talks to a girl in the corner of a crowded party. She seems nonplussed. Guy: Wanna get out of here? Relationship: A guy leans in and puts him around his girlfriend. In the background a loud, crowded party is raging. Guy: Wanna get out of here? Girl: GOD YES, I'm so sick of wearing pants. DATES Single: A girl opens the door, a normal-looking dude greets her. Date: Well first I thought we'd grab food at that new Korean place, and then head over to the museum to check out their Dadaist Installation, and then if you're down we can get gelato and go swing dancing down at the pier. Relationship: A girl opens the door. Her boyfriend walks in, his pants are already falling down. BF: I ordered a pizza in the car, Let's watch Breaking Bad then pass out. SHOPPING Single: A guy is wearing a really dumb shirt in a dressing room. He stares in a mirror and gives himself a thumbs up. Relationship: The guy is now accompanied by his girlfriend, she is adamantly disagreeing while giving a thumbs down. SLEEPING Single: A girl sleeps peacefully, she is contorted across the bed with half the covers on her and is semi-spooning an open laptop. Relationship: A girl is lying on her side with no covers, her boyfriend tries to spoon her but she barks at him, wide-eyed. Girl: NOPE TOO HOT. EATING Single: A guy stands in front of his fridge and smells an old take-out container. He makes a disgusted look. Relationship: Girl and Guy are seated to an extravagant feast. The guy sniffs his wine and looks pleased with himself. WATCHING MOVIES Single: A couple questions a girl sitting by herself in a movie theater. Couple: Excuse me, are you by yourself or are people joining you? Girl: no i'm by myself sorry Relationship: A girl sits next to an empty seat with a pile of coats in it. Her boyfriend leans in frame with a giant coke. Boy: I got us a small coke and two straws, what'd I miss? WATCHING TV Single: A guy clicking a remote. Onscreen we see the NETFLIX logo. Guy: Wow, I can't believe I finished it already. Relationship: A guy looks mad at girl. The screen is displaying the Netflix logo with a large PAUSE icon next to it. Guy: I can't believe you started without me!