Ah, College
"Kiss me – I'm 1/148th Irish."

Once again, it's St. Patrick's Day – a celebration of drinking, those stupid hats, and Irish stereotypes. But it's nothing personal against Ireland. Americans do it for all foreign holidays. Think about Cinco de mayo. That's just drinking and wearing sombreros. I guess it just goes to show that we'll take any chance to get drunk and wear funny hats.

-People do things for St. Patrick's Day differently. Some celebrate by dyeing their hair green. Some celebrate by wearing green clothing and those leprechaun hats to their classes. Others celebrate by not being conscious for classes the day afterward.

-A lot of month names don't make sense, but March is probably the worst. When I think of marching, I think of precise walking in a straight line. With Mardi Gras, Spring Break, and St. Patrick's Day making up the first seventeen days of the month, the only walking straight you'll even be attempting is a roadside sobriety test.

-I went home for Spring Break. I know that doesn't seem like the coolest way to spend the time, but with the right publicity, it could catch on. As soon as they come out with a "Girls Gone Home" video, I'm awesome.

-Being home was great. I think the funniest thing was that when my parents asked if I wanted a cup for the juice I was drinking, it took me a few seconds to remember what the hell cups were for.

-Don't you hate it when professors ask if everyone is glad to be back your first day after break? Are they really all that surprised when they get two hundred muttered groans in response? And when that TA up front yells, "Yeah!" don't you want to kick his ass?

-Everyone in the mailroom complains after break because no one has checked their mail in a week and the boxes are too full. That's a problem with no solution. How are they going to remind everyone to empty their boxes – send them all a letter?

-Now that the weather is better, a lot of people say they'll be going to class more often. Yeah, because the inch of snow was what was really stopping you before. Besides, there's nothing like gorgeous weather to make you want to spend four hours each day cooped up indoors learning.

-I have no political views of any kind (besides the "bring back Surge pop movement"), but anti-war protests are getting crazy. One day, a walk-out left me in class with three people including the professor. Later, he asked if I stayed because I supported the war. Well, no, but I support keeping my GPA up by getting all the notes.