Since 2005, Elite Private Tutoring NYC has been assembling the best portfolio of tutors in the business:
Kevin tutors all things literary and spends his free time writing unpublished novels. While being tutored, your child may need to cheer Kevin up every once in a while to get him going again. We recommend him only for daytime sessions because he's very hard to see at night. He tutors neither math nor science, and indeed, it's unlikely that anyone with a deep knowledge of those subjects would even be a tutor, since he or she could make much more money in fields such as finance and medicine. As a writing tutor, Kevin can explain this very well to students who are struggling in science and math. Having grown up in humble circumstances in the middle of nowhere, Kevin is perfectly equipped to teach Manhattan's elite how to get even those questions on standardized tests that are designed to favor socio-economically disadvantaged students. An expert at conveying difficult concepts in simple terms, Kevin calls life a dystopia.
Is your three-dimensional child having difficulty with two-dimensional words and running out of the fourth dimension on tests? It will help if you stop thinking about it in terms of dimensions. Not just a tutor but a mentor, Leonard recently completed his doctorate in Archaeology. When students ask questions about math or science, Leonard either tries to get them to answer the questions themselves in order to make them more independent or he answers the questions on his own, without the children's help. But then, especially, keep in mind that everything one of our tutors says that is wrong is ironic. This helps students learn to see through deception.
Our most dangerous tutor because she recently had to move back in with her parents, Michelle earned a bachelor's degree in Comparative Literature and tutors to feed herself as a struggling playwright. Her first two plays were very well liked by a few but failed to attract large audiences: "Oui, Oui, This Is Fun," a hit only among French children living in New York City, and "Oui, The People," written for a target audience of English-speaking Jacobins in the French Revolution. For math, she tutors only counting and intermediate-level Sudoku puzzles. However, we recently caught her with a Sudoku cheat sheet, and we're thinking about letting her go.
This tutor has become popular with our clients ever since the publication of Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother about the benefits of strict Asian-style parenting. By far the best known teacher, this tutor has no college degree. She doesn't even know the subjects. But her students achieve standardized test scores that range from perfect to perfect with less bruising and blood loss but the same amount of shame. She produces stellar results despite not knowing much of the subject matter herself thanks to a highly developed ability to sense when a student has done something wrong or is unsure about an answer or a fact, but mostly thanks to her incredible fist speed and the tiger. Her students become so proficient at piano that they can embed hidden SOS messages in songs during concert performances. It goes without saying that pupils should make themselves look as big as possible and not make eye contact with anything except assignments and the piano. The only drawback to hiring Asian Mom as a tutor is that your child will quickly develop a habit of drinking Scotch and smoking to unwind after sessions. It's a small price to pay to have even more years enjoying the world's finest drink (we have no comment about the smoking).