The Little Prince Goes to the Gym

Chapter 1

One day the little prince came across a man lifting weights.

"What are you doing?" the little prince asked.

"I'm lifting weights," the man replied.

"Ah..." the little prince said to himself. "A difficult task, but an admirable one. Here is a man who works by the sweat of his brow to move objects where they need to be."

And so the little prince decided to help the man.

"Where are you bringing these heavy objects?" the little prince inquired.

"Back where they were," the man replied.

"You lift these weights just to put them down again? How foolish!"

And the little prince walked off, leaving the man grunting at himself in the mirror while listening to Drake.

 

Chapter 2

Next, the little prince came across a young woman running on a track while watching Bravo with the sound off. She looked catatonic.

"What are you running from?" the little prince asked.

"Nothing," she responded.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

The little prince was so frustrated he almost barfed on the spot. Instead, he walked away, shaking his head with a sense of superiority.

 

Chapter 3

One of the rooms in the gym had Krav Maga.

"Hello there!" the little prince called out.

"Hello."

"What are you doing?"

"I am learning the Israeli art of self-defense, Krav Maga,"

And so the little prince and the person studying Krav Maga discussed Middle East politics under veiled metaphors of flora, fauna and talking animals. They worked up quite a sweat. Finally, the little prince left feeling quite confused and defensive of his opinion.

 

Chapter 4

Soon, the little prince found himself in a Soul Cycling class.

"What are you doing?" he asked one of the middle-aged women.

"I'm bicycling in place," she replied.

"This woman is like the one running in place on the treadmill..." the little prince said to himself. "Neither escaping from anything nor trying to get anywhere. But at least she is doing it more quickly and I suppose that makes her less ridiculous..."

And so the little prince said, "keep going!" encouragingly and went on his way, and some of the women felt a little uncomfortable.

 

Chapter 5

The little prince soon came upon a Yoga class.

"What are you doing?" he asked the teacher.

The Yoga teacher did not respond. She only asked everyone to move from cow pose to downward dog.

"What are you doing?" the little prince repeated, for he was never one to give up on a question once he'd asked it.

But the Yoga teacher only urged everyone to listen to their breathing and gently transition from child's pose to Shavasana.

"What are you doing?" the little prince asked a third time, starting to get angry.

"I am teaching Yoga," the teacher finally responded.

The little prince looked at all the people who'd had their butts up in the air and to the side and on the floor and he wondered if any of them knew how silly they looked. And so the little prince left, without even wishing anyone Namaste.

 

Chapter 6

Years later, the little prince was waiting in the customer service line at Equinox.

"What are you doing?" a little kid asked him.

"I am waiting on line to buy a gym membership," the little prince replied.

"Why?" the little kid asked him.

"Because I used to be a little prince, but now I am just a blob," the little prince replied. "I used to make fun of people who worked out because it seemed foolish, but now my cholesterol is at an all-time high and I am at risk for a number of health issues, all because I work a 9 to 5 job and buy fast food instead of cooking."

And the little kid made fun of him, but the little prince did not pay attention and instead paid for his membership, all the while knowing he probably wouldn't use it.