What The Government Shutdown Means For Your Nachos

After Democrats and Republicans failed to find common ground on the Affordable Care Act, more commonly known as Obamacare, the United States Government has shut down. Although we have seen many articles detailing how this will affect our day to day life, no one has yet addressed how this shutdown will affect everyone's favorite party food: nachos.

 

Will this shutdown affect the taste of my nachos?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: It shouldn't. The government shutdown causes many nonessential federal employees to be placed on furlough, but it should not affect the way that cheese tastes when melted onto tortilla chips and dipped into salsa.

 

I like eating nachos outside with my bros and some hotties. What does the shutdown mean for me?


Short answer: You do you, for the most part.

Long answer: Eating nachos outside rocks. Sipping on a brew, taking a bite of some spicy nachos and then breathing that crisp, fall air -- nothing better than that. Just don't try to eat nachos in one of our National Parks: they're closed because of the shutdown. Nothing enhances the majesty of Yosemite like a plate of nachos, but for now, it's just not happening.

 

 

I like my nachos to be ultimate as shit. And also I'm waiting on a federal loan to start a small business selling nachos that are ultimate as shit. What's up?

Short answer: A lot is up.  

Long answer: The only way we eats nachos is to make those bitches ultimate. Some ground beef, some jalapeños, some guacamole -- THOSE ARE SOME ULTIMATE NACHOS. But your federal small business loan won't be processed while this government shutdown is in effect and that's both damaging to the economy and mad lame.

 

 

The best nachos I ever had were in Cancun, Mexico.


Short answer: That's not a question.

Long answer: Yeah, Cancun is bumpin'. They've got hot nachos and hotter nightlife. You need a passport to go though. And the shutdown does affect passport offices and the distribution of new passports. Unless the passport office is located in a building that is not federally owned, in which case, the revenue generated from the fees associated with the application process could allow the office to remain in operation. So if you live close to a United States Passport Office not located in a federally-owned building, then go fill out an application, get yo' ass to Cancun and get some of these nachos!

 

 

I eat nachos until I'm sick!! That cool?


Short answer: So cool.

Long answer: Eat nachos until you're sick! Even though the government shutdown is mostly regarding the Affordable Care Act, the cancellation of funds to nonessential federal agencies in no way affects the program's operation. So pile those nachos up sky high and stuff your face until you barf, because you're covered!