What If The Founding Fathers Could See Us Today

  1. CNN Reporter

    Welcome to 2013, Founding Fathers. I've brought you through time to the present day to offer us your unique perspective on our fractured modern-day government. Can you believe that the wonderful democracy you created has devolved into the bitter, divisive political cesspool of today?

  2. Ben Franklin

    HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THAT???

  3. Reporter

    Uh, this? Oh. It's my iPhone.

  4. Ben Franklin

    It's incredible! What a curious device. What are these images? How are they changing??? I-- I cannot comprehend such craftsmanship! Are you some sort of master artisan, or an impossibly wealthy Sultan??

  5. George Washington

    IRON HORSES! IRON HORSES EVERYWHERE!

  6. Thomas Jefferson

    These buildings are ENORMOUS! How is this possible?? Are they all cathedrals??? They must have required centuries to construct!

  7. John Hancock

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Reporter

    Guys, we're getting off track here. I just want to know what you think of the Congress in 2013.

  9. George Washington

    [Pointing At Airplane] WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???

  10. Reporter

    It's an airplane. People fly around in them.

  11. Thomas Jefferson

    Are mine eyes deceiving me?? Behold, the miracle of human flight -- I am humbled in its divine presence! My soul weeps tears of joy at visions of human utopia, realized!

  12. John Hancock

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING????? WHO--WHA-- WHERE IS MY FAMILY?????????

  13. Reporter

    Look, will one of you just gimme a stupid quote about the current state of Politics? Just one quote. I'll even get you started - something like, "When we envisioned this great nation, we never once imagined--"

  14. Alexander Hamilton

    GUYS! GUYS! Have you seen this?? Our faces are all over the money!

  15. [Hands everyone a wad of bills and coins]
  16. George Washington

    THAT IS SO FUCKING COOL.

  17. Ben Franklin

    My humble countenance graces the note of ONE HUNDRED Golds? Such wealth cannot be conceived!

  18. George Washington

    OH MAN they even got the eagle on there, you see that? Check it out, right there! Yeahhh. This fucking rules. Martha's gonna flip her shit when she sees me on these silver coins.

  19. John Hancock

    EVERYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN IS DEAD AND BURIED IN CEMETERIES OF STEEL!

  20. Reporter

    Alright guys, look -- I promise I'll show you all the cool modern stuff in just a second, but first, can you please say one thing, anything about the current government and how divided it is? Doesn't have to be perfect, just say whatever. I'm gonna start recording, ok? Face this camera and begin speaking.

  21. Thomas Jefferson

    What is this demonry??

  22. Reporter

    I'LL EXPLAIN CAMERAS IN A SECOND, just give me a quote about the government, please.

  23. Ben Franklin

    Very well, as you wish. Uhhhh... "The government of today is--" Uhhh. It's very... I dunno, umm...

  24. George Washington

    Sure are a lot of fuckin' slaves everywhere.

  25. [Jefferson high-fives him]
  26. Reporter

    CUT! Jesus, Washington, you can't say that.

  27. George Washington

    Well there are!

  28. Alexander Hamilton

    What is THAT OBJECT?? IS THAT WHAT CANDLES ARE NOW???

  29. Reporter

    What, this? This is my tie. It's not even technological, it's just a thing we wear now.

  30. Alexander Hamilton

    SUCH AN ODD CANDLE [Tries to eat the tie]

  31. Reporter

    Stop it! Why would you be trying to eat candles anyway?? Fine, alright, never mind. This didn't really work out like I hoped, so just-- I don't know. Forget it.

  32. [Reporter Leaves. Founding Fathers stand there silently.]
  33. Ben Franklin

    So... you guys see that Breaking Bad finale?

  34. John Hancock

    AHHHHHHHHHHH NOT YET SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!