Hey Everybody Last weekend I went to Atlantic City for the day with four of my friends from home. In one day I managed to have my fair share of funny moments. Here are some highlights:
I brought twenty dollars to gamble with because I'm A) very cheap and B) very broke as a result of working as a slave sorry, "intern" for the past two summers. So my friend Ross and I start to talk to a guy in his forties sitting at one of the video poker machines. He was giving us tips and teaching us about the machines with the best odds. When I told him I was on a bit of a tighter budget and asked if there were any lower stakes machines he laughed a little bit. He pointed to a row of machines across the room and said, "Yeah, over there by the old lady who's about to die."
Sure enough, there she was, an elderly woman on her last legs near a whole host of other old people. And I couldn't help but feel like Mikey in Swingers when he lays down three hundred dollars in Vegas and gets only three chips from the dealer. Needless to say, I happily played 25 cent hands and fifteen dollars poorer decided to go to the boardwalk.
I was feeling a little dejected because at that point all of my friends were up and I was down, but then I remembered the old lady at the machine, and thought about how ironic it would be if she actually did drop dead sitting right there at the machine, after it hit big of course.
Being 21 is kind of an awkward age in terms of who you can appropriately date. Are high school seniors off limits? I mean, what if they're really old for their grade? A conversation of this nature ensued between myself and the other guys while we were getting gas at a rest stop along the way. When Craig started to say that sixteen year old girls are just fresher, that 21 year old girls are really "starting to show their age," my friend Paul promptly yelled at him and the rest of us for being so chauvinistic and judgmental.
Now, normally a thoughtful comment like this would make me think more highly of Paul, but I had to remind myself that this was the guy who videotaped himself having sex with a girl at school and streamed it live so his whole fraternity could watch downstairs. And the guy who remarked 10 minutes before his lecture that "that girl will be so hot in ten years." The girl was four. Maximum.
I think the saddest/funniest? part about Atlantic City is that in the casinos they actually have a place where people can take out a loan. So if you have nothing, you can borrow money, gamble, lose it, and then have LESS than nothing. I guess my big question is, does anyone who shows up with zero dollars to their name really have the type of credit history that makes a casino willing to just shell out some cash?