By CH Staff
The Six Best and Worst Types of Sex
Note: I imagine these as side-by-side comparison images.
Just Spent a Week with Your Parents Sex
Image: Guy on the phone, he is holding a suitcase. Girl is already in bed and waving him over angrily with a gif.
Guy: Yeah, we made it home safe mom. Thanks so much for having us!
- vs -
STILL Living with Your Parents Sex
Image: Guy and girl in bed, a small *creak* noise is heard. They both look mortified.
Mom: (Offscreen) - DANIEL IS THAT YOU IS SOMETHING WRONG
Wifi isn't Working Sex
Image: Guy and girl going at it, a laptop is turned off in the foreground
Girl: Oh, yeah, treat me like Time Warner treats their customers
Guy: Ooh babe Imma fuck you frequently and with no concern for your personal needs.
Heat isn't Working Sex
Image: Guy and girl are having sex under a mountain of blankets, only their faces and the girl's foot are visible.
Guy: Ooh baby Santa Claus is coming t-
Girl: OH GOD MY TOE. MY TOE IS EXPOSED.
Just a Little Drunk Sex
Image: Girl and guy are going at it, half a bottle of wine is next to them.
Girl: How are you this good?
Just a Little Too Drunk Sex
Image: Guy is fumbling around on top of a girl.
Girl: How are you this much drunker than me?
Guy: JES GIMME AMINNIT
Waiting for Pizza Sex
Image: Girl stands next to a laptop. Guy is unbuckling his pants.
Girl: According to the pizza tracker, we've got 20 minutes.
Guy: LET'S DO THIS
Just Ate Pizza Sex
Image: Guy on top of girl again, he looks sweaty and fat.
Guy: WHY DID WE DO THIS
Holy Shit this Hotel's Bathtub is Huge Sex
Image: A romantic scene in a fancy hotel bathroom. Fish fountains and mermaids line a jacuzzi-like tub.
Image: A moldy, cramped shower. We see the guy and girl from the waste up. The girl's face is getting directly blasted by the shower. The guy is awkwardly wrapped in the curtain.
All Caught Up on TV Sex
Image: Guy holding remote. He is making out with a girl and clicking off the tv.
Just Started a New Show Sex
Image: Guy is looking at the girl with sexy eyes. She is staring intently at the laptop.
Guy: Wanna take a break an-