Platonic Pickup Lines

 

Girl, did you fall from heaven to be with me? 'Cause I don't have a lot of female friends.

 

Are those space pants, because they're really cute! Where did you get them? We should go shopping together sometime.

 

Was your dad a thief? ...Why? I dunno, just making small talk. Mine's an orthopedist.

 

Girl, are you sweatpants? Because we're gonna spend a lot more time together when I'm not dating anyone.

 

Girl, I wish I could rearrange the alphabet and have U and I go bowling.

 

This is crazy. I swear I'm not a career counselor, but I could listen to you complain about your job for hours.

 

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause I could give you a ride home if your car got towed or something. I'm happy to, really.

 

Hold up, girl. Are you a college professor? 'Cause I've got a feeling I'm gonna occasionally talk to my other friends about how annoying you are.

 

Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself getting coffee with you and talking about our boy troubles. And we'd be wearing pants, obviously.

 

Hey, what's your sign? ...Wow, I'm a Gemini! According to the stars, we're supposed to have a mutually supportive and noncompetitive positive relationship!

 

How much does a polar bear weigh? Please be my friend.