By Caldwell Tanner
What the Number of Likes on Your Facebook Post Means
0 Likes = You have no friends
1 Like = You pity-like your own posts.
2 Likes = You and your mom pity-like your posts.
2-5 = You linked to an article that you think will make you look smart and commented something vague like "Pretty much sums up the situation."
5-10 = You posted a picture of yourself
10-15 = You posted a picture of yourself on a beach or near a famous landmark
15-20 = You posted a picture of yourself shirtless*
*and you are at least mildly aesthetically pleasing
20-25 = You posted a funny observation.
25-50 = You posted a politically-charged observation.
50-75 = You posted a funny observation you stole from a comedian.
100-200 = You got engaged
200-300 = You got dumped
300-350 = You had a baby
350-400 = It died
400-500 = You posted a vague religious sentiment and encouraged older relatives to share it.
500-1000 = You're the most popular girl at your High School
1000-2000 = You're a middle schooler who runs a Facebook Page entitled "Homework Sucks"
10,000+ You are George Takei
1 MM = You are a George Takei Parody Account